Wake Me Up Inside, Bring Me Back to Life. (Frerard Fanfiction)

Chapter 10~

Gerard's POV

I held him tight and looked down; tears were starting to roll down his cheeks. I have no idea why, but it hurt me intensely to see him like that, so hurt and weak. I pulled out of the hug slowly and wiped away his tears gently with my fingers, "Don't cry Frankie, please. It's okay...it's fine." I said calmly and watched as tears came down faster; it made me want to cry so badly. 

I lead him to the bed and sat down beside him, "Frankie don't cry, I’m here for you." he nodded and said, "I just want to feel important to someone Gerard, my mother used to love me...she used to call me Frankie and she used to stay sober for me. My father used to love me, but then he died...Gerard, he DIED and I can never get him back, my mother was really sad, very sad. It all resulted in her doing drugs as if drugs could SOMEHOW bring him back, but it couldn't...it never could and I knew that. She used to tell me about how she would quit and we would be a family again, well now she doesn’t anymore. She just repeats her actions over and over again and I just CAN'T handle it anymore Gerard, HANDLE BEING UNLOVED AND LONELY ANYMORE!" he covered up his face in his arms, not looking up at me.

I felt a tear roll down my own cheek; he doesn’t deserve the shit that has happened to him...not at all. I hugged him tightly and whispered, "You're important to me Frankie, you'll always be...it doesn’t matter if we met just 14 hours ago or 3 years ago, I love you Frankie and you are really important to me."

He sucked in the tears and looked up for a second, "Really?" I smiled and said, "YES and I’m almost positive you are important to Mikey and Ray to and even if they don't love you, it doesn’t matter because I will always love you, no matter what, I promise you that Frankie."

I kissed his cheek, slowly pulling away from the hug. He looked up at me, still wiping away tears and asked me, "Gerard, can you stay? Tonight...please?" "Sure Frankie, I’ll stay with you tonight." I crawled to the top of his bed and covered my body quickly, I hate getting cold when I sleep...it makes me feel more lonely than I actually am already. He crawled next to me, leaving space in the middle.

I scooted over to fill the space and looked at his perfect features and his puffy eyes, he was still adorable even though he was just crying...if only I could be like him. "Goodnight Frankie." I whisper and close my eyes. This boy is definitely going to be the death of me, I like that idea very much so Gerard.

~

I look up into his eyes, they were beautiful but they were full of lies. They spoke differently than his mouth of course. His mouth said he loved me, but his eyes did not. But i'm a fool, I believe what the mouth says. I feel a punch to my side and groan in pain.

Why am I remembering him? I don't love him anymore...at least I hope I don' I love Frank now, don't I? I look into the eyes of my former boyfriend again, it’s all deja vu with Frank..but you have to get through the Deja Vu to get to the better parts, correct? I know Frank would never hurt me, but the man in front of me is another story.

I don't even consider him a man; a man wouldn't harm the person he loved. I feel another punch, but this was more forward in time considering it felt numb…natural. I hated that stage considering it led to more depression than that of what was already there at the time. Why am I thinking about this? Why am I dreaming about this?

"Worthless." he yells once again, the things he said were filled with a hatred I did not like at all...it sickened me. He sickend me. WHY THE FUCK IS HE IN MY HEAD, GET OUT! I scream mentally. "No." he smiles and punches me again. This is weak,  this is weak. The fact I am thinking of him is weak, I need it to quit. Please.

"FRANKIE!" I whine and I feel a stab in the chest, I continuously yell out his name, ignoring the stabbing feeling. 

I started to wake up and mumbled, "Please don't hit me i'm getting up." It was subconscious of course, living with him for so long did it to me and every time I wake up its what I do. I opened my eyes to see Frankie staring at me oddly, he started to ask why but I told him to shh and hugged him tightly. "Don't worry about it." I whispered.