Unspoken Words.

Intimacy

Intimacy, it is such a complicated and whirl-winded topic to talk about. As this topic will have different type of arguements and opinions, thoughts when spoke to male and female. Males will have their own kind of opinions and thoughts completely differing from female. As females have very reserved thoughts on intimacy. As we being humans crave intimacy in one or other way, may it be through a simple handshake or carress, a shoulder rub or a simple hug. Certain physical touch are just for soothening and calming the tension or stress of humans. And where as certain touches bring about intense pleasure, calm, also makes you feel secure but others brings out insecurity, scared, want to run for the life kind of feelings etc., negative feelings arises due to others touch.

Talking about intimacy gets you confused and makes your brain think actually which kind of intimate touch or intimacy it craves for. At times your body confuses you by giving mixed signals of whether you are liking it or not. But people, it is not body that is confused it is your brain that is totally startled by the sudden invasion of emotions unknown to it. It does the one thing it thinks is safe, getting away from the touch.

For men, well you would say there are categories, in which you find several kind of men. Men who have the defintion of intimacy only as sex, where as some go for smooth steps to reach the ultimate goal that is, sex, but are very gentle and good behaviour only till they get what they wanted. And some are genuinely gentle, caring and sweet enough to be satisfied with simple touches and they mostly crave for simple, physical touches here and there, cuddles, hugging include in their list first and then goes at end is the sex or sexual intercourse which is done with the permission of the girl within her comfort level and if only she is feeling secure enough to do it, now these kind of guys are rarely found.

But if the guy is truly in love with you and he is your true love then for sure he'll look for your comfort level and take care of you as much as he can. There are some guys who are just spoilt, who want to snatch it up whenever they see a girl, it's like the mean person's button gets switch on and they go all barbaric when a girl gives them a smile and a polite conversation. Some just thinkk of only having sex and nothing else. Well, I don't know about that but from somewhere I had heard that guys usually have one-track mind when they want to be. I won't deny that sometimes, they can be like that but not all of them. Some guys find happiness in just giving the girl some consoling, comforting through hugs, forehead kisses and cuddling. Some guys may go on having physical relationships with many girls but there will always be that one girl with whom they share a certain level and kind of intimacy that is not shared with others. But as we know many of guys are commitment phobic which leads them to only far away from that one girl and carry on with their other physical relationships.

Guys, you may get the sexual desire satisfied there, the physical touch getting satisfied there, but in the back of your mind you'll always crave for that soothening touch from that one girl you let go of. Well, I may be wrong in this matter, I don't know but I feel this is what guys usually do till a certain age where then they start feeling lonely is the time of regretting things. Moreover fewer times you just donot consider the feelings of opposite person may it be girl/ boy. Some men just don't consider emotions to be present when in physical relationship. They think the opposite person also needs only physical touch to be satisfied with, even with behaviour they do just flies over these men brains.

At some unexpected turns of your life, the sexual desire leads to the love that you were not even searching for. Unexpected surprises from life are the best ones, as they test your patience, your problem solving techniques.

For females, well being a girl myself, intimacy is always a very sensitive issue. Yes, it's true we tell that we are open-minded, we also enjoy few here and there casual hook-ups, but at some point there will be someone that will make us crave for their touch more may it be the security, comfort or the feeling of being yourself with them, no idea, but we would still crave for it. Yes, some girls use this as their ultimate weapon to seduce men, to get what they want. And some girls are way too much to handle as in a slight touch of arms will lead them to start a fight or will declare the assault war. They are not too sensitive, they are too much feminism filled women. It is not like I'm against feminism, no, but I'm against the fake feminism. Being single, independent does give you a lot of great piece of advantages but at times it'll make you feel lonely too. Sometimes having casual relationships is just fine, but it will lead to several conflicting situations like getting too much attached, starting to get habituated or dependent, or getting the longing feeling to stay with them. Several problems like this comes to play even when you had promised each other at very beginning of "not invovling in any kind of emotions like love, jealousy, possissiveness etc., I'm not saying every casual relationships/ hook-ups/flings will lead to something but it may. Well for all these discussions I will talk about it some other time.

For now, let's just focus on this issue of intimacy. The present generation has obviously changed the definition of intimacy into lust into sex. It's all about sex. Love has transferred into sex only, then other values, feelings that involve into them have become zero these days. I'm not saying everyone, in this generation is like that, we can find some pure hearts too who love with everything they have but get broken easily which will result in nothing but depression, loneliness, sadness, senseless hook-ups, some tiringly focused on career/ work. Don't make everything about sex, every love relationship needs trust, communication, respect, love, compromise, intimacy, physical attraction as discussed previously. Love means everything in one which is tough but if truly in love then all this will come naturally come through you, you don't need to bring it out. Intimacy is also same, it involves care, secure feelings, comfort, calm when it is felt. Don't make everything about physical satisfaction few emotions, feelings are meant to come in that way so try to embrace it. Give it time, if it grows well and good but if it starts to move to dependency then stop it then and there. There is a vast difference between habit and constant nature. Well, mostly don't go deep in understanding the concept of 'love' as it is most complicated and tough to get it through our brains, it is better to go with flow. It is meant to be felt, intimacy is just one small portion of it, there are many other bigger portions in love which are far more important than anything. Intimacy is just like a silver lining to the cloud, like a cherry on top of the cake, it completes the love's circle with physical touches.

We just need to understand, talk, listen, understand and have trust in yourself and your partner. And at last but not the least smile people, your whole day will rehash itself from the gloomy mood it was going through. Smile for yourself, for the people you surround with, for the people that you come across every new day. Smile in such a way that it would be infectious enough to spread happiness on others lips and day too.

This is wild_heartbeats writing off.

Love yourself.