Unspoken Words.

Dependent Nature

Huh, this is quite confusing? Maybe? I don't know.

Well this topic got to me when I was writing about Fear and even in Listening and Understanding. This topic or this question will come into play without you noticing, if you are close to anyone. It could be any kind of relationship, but being dependent is not worth it until you completely sick, physically or mentally. This would be the only exception for being dependent.

So, lets talk about how much people can actually depend on others. People start this depending nature when they are in vulnerable state, as in completely broken according to their mind. So it would be during their childhood phase, teenage era, adolesence directing to adult phase. All this infamous age borders involve a lot of things happening . You learn a lot, meet a lot of different people, you know yourself and many other things that never known by you. In all these phases individual goes through a lot of emotional turmoil. You can never say what is going on inside an individual's mind, what they will be thinking throughout the day, each passing second several ideas, opinions, thoughts flash in their mind which is utterly impossible to keep up with. Especially it happens in childhood, teenage and maybe adulthood. Well, when teenage comes it's like completely hitting a freight train. Usually, what happens is whenever an individual is about to enter into an adventure, he will always expect one or other thing which leads them to get either heart broken or sad or disappointed. This is where everything starts.

When a person gets broken or frustrated they will do either two things overcoming it all by themselves or they will need a helping hand. It is heartbreaking for them do it alone, they only think of ways to end this constant pain ringing inside their soul that doesnot let them sleep, work, eat or do anything. It makes them think of them being alone having no one, it gets too much for them, one rash, sudden decision of ending the life and it's done. Or some people get the help of their either family, friends or someone very close to them. This is where the whole story begins, you see being dependent and addictive is completely two different things. So don't confuse the both, let's just talk about dependency behaviour for now.

Being dependent, means completely leaning in somemone for everything you want to do in life , some with knowledge and some without it. Few individuals don't even know they are completely depending on someone which later becomes harmful for them itself. When someone helps you in your very broken and vulnerable state through emotional support, then they somewhere get used to it as in whenever you feel sad, the first thing you do is go and complain about it to that person. As for you now he is the only one who listens to you, understands you, takes care of you everything and all. But that doesnot mean whenever you get some kind of problems tiny also if you start running to them, then know it, you are getting dependent on them. Guys, there is huge difference between friendship and dependancy. If that person was your friend then asking for help or even helping would be different especially if that is your friend then they would help you without you asking for it, not feeling like it their duty to do so or even because it is responsibility to do. Friends helping each other is not out of responsibility, but rather out of love and respect they have for each other, unconditional helping and admiration and affection you could say it as.

Dependency is when, they help you or do something just because you are being nothing but persistent, forcible, needy, desperate you could call it like that. You just try to puswh them to an extent where they just want to leave you and go away. You see people have only so much patience and tolerance to others, except in cases of the person being your most loved one; mother, father, brother, sister, husband, lover, friend, etc., anyone then you would never think of abandoning them even in their worst. Sometimes blood relations also get the taste of rejection, abandonment.

Depending is not good at all, so my advice first would be always try self-healing. Whenever you feel heartbroken, depressed just don't run to somebody, try to self-heal them, try to cope up with it through positive defence mechanisms, through thoughts of good memories and moments you had spent in your life. Creativity hits you at top-level, try it out, do it, don't see for any stupid reasons to back out from it. Do any creative thing that you have been passionate or compassionate about. Feelings, words, not be able to said out loud can always be brought through other creative ways like writing, singing, drawing, baking, dancing anything that is dear to you. When you feel at ease a little or calm that is the time you talk to your loved one, pour your heart out, feel everythhing you wanted to say. You'll notice one thing that is you are not feeling that worst while talking to them about it, opposite to it you are feeling only a little bad about the whole situation. You will enjoy that someone is there to listen to you and try to lighten up your mood rather than , immediately , after the tragedy hits you run to them make yourself distressed and them too. Try deep breathing in and out which calms your mind to some extent at least. Try to reign your mind through calm and serene thinking. Close your eyes think about that one unexpected place that made you silent, serene, happy with that one loved person, become happy and then handle the situation. Letting out your distressed, anxious, melancholy mind out for a walk is not healthy as it will catch other even more dangerous things as like depression, anxiety, negative vibes which won't leave you for next 100 years together. To end this unending cyclic process, work depends equally on both the sides. It is that don't run to them from every single problem in your life and don't help them too much with their issues. Help, only if you want to and support them rather than doing it for the sake of showing or maybe for saying it out to others that you are the only person helped them. Guys, if you wqant to help do it without the expectations of getting any help back and also not announcing it to the whole world, if the opposite person takes it for granted, or takes it as a sign to come to you for help again and again then make sure to do it for first and last time with few words to say it to them.

People are so selfish and needy sometimes they remember you only for their needs and selfish reasons rather than, as their friend. Stay away, keep a good distance from such toxic people as they give out negative vibes at some point making you think evil or turn into toxic person. You need to stop and avoid such communications were they come to you just for some kind of help rather than good-old talking. Help them one or two times but when they come to you the third time they come with some reason deny them with your own set of problems. That is the best thing to tell the opposite person, not many people are ready to listen to your story or problems but would rather expect you to listen to their's, hypocrisy at top level. People don't think that not only them but others too have problems when they have scum to you.

You need to set your priorities first people when you want to do things you do it yourself not for others, for yourself only so why others depend and resent for help. when you were an infant, still crawling your mother or father may have helped you to stand or walk for a while but later on, it was only you who managed to walk even with falling, stumbling on your steps you managed it without any much help. Then for sure you can try doing things also by yourself get help only when you think it is needed not because it is wanted. Don't be a dependent person on someone and don't let someone depend on you. As much as possible try being independent it works, because the only who can make you happy even in sad times is yourself. So be happy.

Being happy requires to feel positivity inside you, positive vibes which will automatically switch your whole being into something which gives positive waves and happiness to some extent. Give out a smile, infectious enough to spread it every other person you come across, everyday.

This is wild_heartbeats writing off.

Love yourself.