While Holding the Pain

Chapter_25

"Loneliness is a special enjoyment when it's chosen all by yourself.

But hard to digest when gifted by others."

Shaan's P.O.V.

When vai left, I remained standing there for a while until his car went out of my sight. Then I went near my car and hopped in. Seeing a mall, I remembered something and stopped my car on my way back home . I bought a shirt and some other gifts asked the sales man to wrap it nicely. Taking that, I went back to the park and searched for Raju, the waiter boy in the restaurant.

I handed over the packet to him, he smiled a little but that was nothing like the old smile of him. I got out of the restaurant and again sat on the bench staring at the sky with wistful eyes. I came to earth hearing a sound on which I got startled and it took me sometime to understand that my phone was ringing. By the time I answered it, the line got cut off.

It was my father. Looking at the watch, I understood that it was quite late. I left the park and went to my car. Hopping in, I rushed towards home while thinking, "Abbu must be waiting for me. I should have called him but I forgot."

When I entered the house, I found him standing in the living room back facing me. I went near him and heard him saying, "Why this is happening now out all the time? Why?"

The voice seemed like filled with anger and frustration. I remained standing there staring at him. When he turned and saw me, he got startled Allah knows why.

I went near him and standing in front of him, I asked, "What happened, Abbu? Is there any problem?"

He seemed to get relaxed and answered me, "Nothing son. Just business stress."

"Of course. It would be about your business. What is there in your life other than that!" I uttered under my breath in annoyance.

He asked me, "Where were you? I was waiting for you. At noon I was busy and after that I got home but you were not here. I even called you but didn't answer."

Our father-son relationship was never good. I used to try to get his attention earlier and stopped trying at a point. Now he is worrying for me. Like really!

Giving my thought a break, I politely answered him, "I am sorry about that Abbu and I went to get some fresh air."

Abbu then said to me pointing at the dinning table, "Okay. Come now. Lets have dinner."

"I have eaten Abbu" After replying, I turned to go but he stopped me.

Mr. Mahmud's P.O.V.

While waiting for Shaan, I forgot about dinner. When he got back home suddenly, I got startled thinking that he might have heard me. But that was not the case and that made me get relaxed. I needed to talk to him. So I asked him to take dinner with me. 

I was always busy with my business so I didn't bother to spend time with him. But now I have to show some effort to make him come back to me other than Ruhaan. Though he replied in negative, I stopped him and said, "At least accompany me."

Not giving him another chance to refuse, I called the maid and told him to serve us dinner and walked towards the dinning table. I knew, he would follow me at least. And he did.

While eating, I asked Shaan, "What are you planning to do now? If you want, join me in office."

"Not now Abbu."

"Okay, take your time for that but I think, it's time for you to get settled" Hearing this, he looked at me annoyingly like he knew where I would go now but I continued, "Get married and then"

Before I could say anything else, he stopped me mid sentence and said, "Not again, Abbu. Please. We have talked about it several times and my decision is still the same and I am not going to change it."

He kept silent for a moment and then pointing at my plate, he again said, "Are you done?"

I nodded and he stood up and said, "I am feeling sleepy. Good night."

Before I could say anything, he left the place. Looking at him, I kept thinking, "You will change your decision, Shaan. You have to. I will make sure of it either this way or another."

Ruhaan's P.O.V.

I woke up at Fazar time and went to washroom. After completing my business, I made ablution and said my prayer and made dua (asking something from Allah) to Allah to give me enough strength to talk to Shaan and make him understand to get married and go on with his life.

After prayer, I again tried to get some sleep. Being unable, I got up and went to the garden and sat on a bench. Here we have many memories of our childhood days. Like before I again started working in the garden.

After I while, hearing a voice, "Ruhaan baba, you here?", I looked up and saw our gardener standing there.

I turned back to my work and said, "Nothing Kaka(Uncle), I just felt like doing this."

Remembering something, I looked at him and asked, "Is Kaki (Aunty) alright now?"

"Yes son. She is alright. Thank you for the help. May Allah bless you." he replied in a grateful manner. I nodded with a smile and he asked me, "Won't you go to office today?"

When I replied, "I will go", he got near me and said, "Then you go inside and rest before that. I am completing the work"

Nodding at him, I left the garden and went inside the house. I saw Kaki preparing breakfast. I asked her, "Kaki, you alright?"

"Alhamdulillah, now I am fine, son. And thank you too"

With a smile, I rushed to my room and took a warm shower for a little longer. Then getting ready for office, I again got back downstairs. 

She was setting table for me. I sat on the table and said, "Don't do too much of work now, kaki."

She nodded and I started eating. When I finished full of my breakfast, I found kaki staring at me as she was not used to it. I smiled slightly at her and finding me smile, she also smiled heartily.

I left the house and went towards my car with a determination to talk to Shaan. I hopped in and started driving towards my office but just thinking about what I will be talking to him, my determination started cracking little by little.

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