Feels Like the First Time

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Games

"Don't, don't bother. Get me my clothes. I'm going home."

The words rang in his mind for the rest of the day, week, month. Had it really been a month, so long, only that long? Why? Why could he not tell her? Why didn't he make her stay?

His eyes glared back at him in the mirror over the sink. It was fogged everywhere but where his eyes hit, mocking him with his own bitter snarl. He leant forward again, his hands gripping the cold porcelain of the sink as he bent forward.

His heart and stomach dropped, he knew the answer and had known it longer than he'd known most other things. He was doing the right thing, the pain in his heart now simply proved it.

* * *

I suppose things were picking up again, slowly, I suppose.

Who am I kidding, I grumbled to myself as I did I final scan of the table decorations. Honestly, I felt better, in myself I'd found an understanding of the breakdown and had started therapy again to work through it all. Clearly not everything was resolved from my past, and maybe it never would be. That had to be okay.

I suppose, my mind wondered idly, knowing that my job was done for now. The large grandfather clock in the hallway chimed 6pm and I skipped up the grand staircase to Mei's room, the bridal suite. Dinner was already laid out for the small group of women gathered there to celebrate Mei's last night before marriage. No one was drinking, in support of her current predicament. She looked up at me anxiously from her large, leather armchair. I nodded once then encouraged everyone to dig in.

The chatter around me was of pure excitement for tomorrow's events. I simply smiled, adding input when needed but mainly encouraging Mei to be the centre of attention. The warmth and love for her swelled in me as she grinned, cheeks lightly flushed, at the people around her.

Nothing would ruin this for her, I would make sure of it.

"Oh, Hannah, could you check on Ritsu for me, please? If Haruhi goes they won't let her leave, you know what they're like." Mei whispered to me when the conversation lulled slightly after food and before the music was blasted.

I simply nodded, pushing down the tightening of panic.

The hallway was quieter, the door muffling the pumping bass from the room behind me. I took a steadying breath before striding down the hall, trying to convince myself of the confidence I was portraying.

The music was not as bass-heavy from the Groom's suite and my lip twitched lightly. At least it was loud, that should distract Ritsu from his anxiety. I knocked as hard as I could without hurting myself. I tensed at the sight of dark hair on the other side but the height had my shoulders loosening quickly. I smiled warmly at Kyoya before leaning in so he could hear me over the music.

"Mei wanted me to check on Ritsu. He hasn't completely freaked out yet, has he?" My words were teasing, my mouth twisting into an affectionate grin for my friend. He rolled his eyes at me then grimaced as the music switched to something horrifically loud and obnoxious. We both chuckled softly and moved closer so we wouldn't have to shout.

"He's here somewhere, don't worry, everyone knows their roles. Want to see him?" His breath was warm on the shell of my ear and I moved back with a nod. The room behind him was crowded, more so than one would expect for Ritsu but I knew there were many people out there who cared deeply for him. Kyoya's hand found my back, making my chest tighten slightly, so he could lead me through the crowd to the main armchair at the centre of the room. I kept my eyes low to make sure I didn't meet anyone's eyes until I spotted Ritsu.

Kyoya's hand added a slight pressure to my skin before it was gone. I rushed to Ritsu's side with a warm smile. I crouched down at his feet, patting his hand softly.