(Fixing the dumpster fire of First Year)
⸙┆What if all the pro heros went to UA together at the same time? What if the old Class A shared one chaotic group chat that documented all three years of UA and beyond?
Welcome to Class 1-Arson. Join the yo...
This is my procrastination book, i write these chapters when i should really be doing something else. Also this chapter is way different to normal i just needed to get the crack out of my system- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Also known as: • In the eyes of Tsunagu Hakamata • Welcome to the circus • literally just chaos tbf
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Clowning of Clasa 3-A 1st June 2101 - Documented by Tsunagu Hakamata ~~~~~~
My name is Tsunagu Hakamata and you're watching the Disney channel~
Something tremendously interesting happened the other week and my therapist told me to write it down because i may or may not have been the main cause of it. Its difficult being me sometimes, i swear.
However i don't own a diary because im not a 10 year old girl? But apparently Enji is so i stole his diary! Trust me when i tell you there is some juicy shit in here, its like a plump mango of secrets. In fact i should've really written this earlier but i was too busy violating Enji's privacy.
Did you know he ran away from home when he was 8 and got stuck in a well for three days before anyone found him? I didn't, but now i do and i couldn't be happier. I think I'll keep this diary, that or publish it when he makes it big.
Anyway thats not the point here. The point is what i caused, no it wasn't a fire. If you assumed i set a fire? Understandable have a delightful day. But no, sadly it wasn't a fire or global anarchy again. Let me set the scene for you plebs.
{And by plebs im talking to you Nemuri because theres a 100% chance you stole this from under my bed}
So it was a Thursday and i woke up at the ass crack of dawn for absolutely no reason? Mayybe it was caused by my sleep paralysis but me n my demon have been bonding recently even though i can't move? Like im lying face down and instead of violently scratching my back its been massaging it?
I need to speak to my therapist.
Back on track, it was stupidly early like 3am early. And i was the only one awake which was strange because someone is always awake. Either Shota consuming an ungodly amount of coffee or Anakuro playing jenga with themself. It was weird, almost like today was important. Aha ha.
So me being fabulously amazing, also half asleep, decided it would definitely be a good idea to prank everyone. In hindsight, i probably should've just went back to sleep and get a nice muscle relaxing rub from my demon but the past is in the past. Also i don't regret it.
Now, i could've been basic and just put a bucket of water on their doors but im no basic bitch, go big or go home! {Thats what she said}. Though it might not be my finest moment i don't regret writing it down, in my hazy stupor i made a beeline for my makeup bag.
Except it wasn't my makeup bag, it was actually my bag of permanent markers i use for art.
What was the prank? Id give everyone clown makeup because im hilarious. If you ask me it was even funnier that i used permanent markers instead but don't tell hound dog that because he might send me to a psych ward.
With my markers in hand, i was like a ninja sneaking into peoples rooms and graffiting their faces. Not one person woke up which is an impressive feat if you ask me. I also found out a couple of people in this class are fidgety so sorry that i accidentally drew an obnoxious orange line across your face when you suddenly had a fucking spasm Hizashi.
I think someone spiked the tea again because i was really fuccing out of it, only being brought back to my senses when a shrill shriek echoed throughout the dorms. The first to awake was Yuu. Many people rushed to see if she was okay only to elicit more ear-raping screams.
Suddenly i realized alot of things.
1. This isn't makeup, its permanent markers. Oh shit.
2. Im the only one with a clean face so its shockingly obvious i was the culprit to this crime.
3. Today was the goddamn fucking SPORTS FESTIVAL. You know the one streamed live across the country/world.
꧁꧁Oops꧂꧂
I already knew everyone was fucked. It would take at least 3 weeks for their circus masks of clownery to wash off and we were going to be live in approximately 2 hours. So i did the only thing i could've in that situation and prayed for my own safety.
But i was faced with a choice:
• Do my own face and pin the nlame on someone else
Or
• Be the only presentable person in our class and get all the internship offers.
I was not about to destroy my natural beauty but i didn't want to throw my friends under the metaphorical bus (unless Torino decides to run us over with a bus as punishment). What better than a comprise? I would give myself clown makeup with aCtuAL makeup.
Didn't work out in the end though because i ended up turning it into a full on lewk with blue and red eyeshadow. The downside of beauty i guess, nothing you can do about that.
Some idiots decided to aggressively scrub their faces in hopes of removing the art but they ended up looking like Ronald McDonald got stung by 50 wasps at once. Couldn't be me.
The Sports Festival ended up happening, there were many whispers in the audience when our class walked out, Mr Satoshi had a fucking stroke in he announcers booth while Torino tried leave. Some people in my class was a good sport about it, Anakuro came out on a unicycle, juggling 3 bean bags. Sir has talent.
Enji ended up winning this year because Yagi ended up passing out wheezing when he got a good look at my craftsmanship. I tried to make Enji's design unique but it ended up looking like a disturbingly hilarious amalgamation of Pennywise and 'Dwayne The Rock Johnson'
I don't know how i did it.
The Sports Festival was an overall success, Enji finally won but i don't think he's too pleased about the circumstances, the photo used in the newspaper was absolutely golden because it was a trio of clowns all with eqUaLLy dissatisfied expressions.
What did i learn? Absolutely nothing, I'm amazing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This chapter was *chef's kiss*
Idc what you say.
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