Escape In A Cold City [Baguio Series #3]

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Tatanungin ko pa sana siya ang kaso nga lang ay turn na ni daddy. Biglang nawala ang malawak na ngiti ko at napalitan nalang ito ng tipid na ngiti. 

"Happy birthday, my princess." May kung anong pait ang dumaloy sa sistema ko nang sinabi niya iyon. Bahagya akong tumango at tinanggap ang rosas. "Are you happy?" 

"Yes daddy." Even without you I still manage to be happy. Because mom taught me how to be brave. Even if you left us and chose your first love over mom and chose someone who's not your offspring over your own. 

"I'm happy to hear it." He smiled. Hindi ko alam kung nagpapanggap ba siya na naniniwala siyang masaya ako o naging tanga na siya magsimula noong naging kasama niya ang bago niyang tinuturing na pamilya. 

Obviously, hindi ako mukhang masaya sakaniya. Well, kanina sa mga friends and relatives namin I'm genuinely happy earlier not until it's my dad's turn. 

Parang noon lang alam na alam niya na hindi ako masaya kapag tinitignan niya palang ang mga mata ko pero ngayon naniniwala na siya sa kasinungalingan na tinuran ko. 

I smile bitterly, of course. Nothing is permanent but change. Why would I forget that famous statement? 

"How about your studies? I heard from your kuya that you're running for latin honors? Dean's lister perhaps?" Ngiting-ngiting tanong niya. Para bang pinapagaan niya ang hangin na pumapagitna sa amin pero lalo lang nadadagdagan ang bigat na iyon. 

Why didn't he message me when I'm in Baguio? Even just a single text, just a simple 'how are you?' He never did. 

"Yeah. I'm doing well." Tamad na sagot ko sakaniya. Kita ko rin ang pagkailang base sa ngiti niya. 

This man in front of me taught me how to love but the same man who taught me pain. He is the first man I love, the first man who loves me but at the same time the first man who broke me. 

He promised he will never leave us. We will stay until the end, until their last breath. But promised maybe not made to be fulfilled but promises made for us to become better. Even though we knew that it meant to be broken we're still hoping that it will not. 

"I'm sorry for leaving you, anak." I can feel sincerity in his eyes. 

I hate the word sorry. It looks like a sorry made for you to commit a mistake. It's like you're not afraid to commit one because at the end of the day there is the word sorry. 

Funny how people keep saying sorry but repeating the same mistakes they did. How they keep saying sorry but all we feel is the same pain they've caused. 

"I get it, daddy. Don't ruin my night please." I pleaded. Kita ko ang gulat sa mata niya nang sinabi ko iyon tiyaka bahagyang tumango at yumuko. 

For a moment, I felt bad for what I said. But it's good to voice out my opinion and feelings, at least he knows that he's hurting me. 

Before he let go of me he kissed my forehead and whispered the three words; I love you. 

But if you really love someone can you endure being away with them? If you love someone can you hurt them for the sake of your happiness? 

The word love is so deep but people tend to see it as a shallow word. Like if ever they said that word does it mean they really mean it? Maybe they have been vocal on how they love you but how about their action?

Kaagad din nawala ang naiisip ko nang tumuloy na sa ibang mga eighteen such ang party and then kumain na rin kami. Naging masaya ulit ako sa mga kaibigan ko na nagbigay ng mensahe pati na rin sa mga kamag-anak namin.