Vicious Memories

Chapter 18

Gabriel took up his position behind the speaker's block with all the resigned familiarity of a general addressing his disintegrating army for the thousandth time.

"Stay where you are," he said when I tried to make my escape from my position next to him.

"I should go sit with the rest."

He shook his head. "You're part of this now."

I stayed where I was as the beauty of the freshly fallen night seemed to mock our circumstances.

We were, all of us, the centerpiece in a ring of horrifying circles. Here we stood in our faded reds, blues, tans, and grays, the green grass and light brown earth around us so brilliant they made us look washed out. The cabins and tents encircled the clearing, and the edge of the hilltop beyond them gave way to a humid and oppressive jungle. Beyond that jungle there was only the sad emptiness of the ocean.

It hit me for the first time that we might actually be better off having lost our memories; the concrete knowledge of the lives being denied to us at this very moment might have been more than any man or woman in this clearing could bear.

Gabriel explained everything that evening with a brutal and naked honesty that made my cringe. The only details he left out were those pertaining to my theories regarding the killer's origin; we had all agreed that it would do more harm than good.

Despite how difficult it might be, I wanted so badly to remember my past. It wasn't disorienting to have lost my memories anymore - it was maddening.

I shuffled my feet and cracked my knuckled, the scars on my forearm itching terribly. I tried and failed to clasp my hands behind my back in a dignified manner.

"...and thanks to the insight he's given us," Gabriel said, "I've placed Oliver onto the investigation team to work with Arun, Alice, and the rest of the hunters."

A sea of piercing eyes turned toward me and I straightened my spine.

"And as is tradition," Gabriel continued, "I have asked him to choose a last name for himself. Oliver, have you chosen?"

Had I chosen a last name yet? I looked to Gabriel in surprise. No, of course I hadn't. I hadn't had a moment of peace to think about it all day.

"I..." I said, panicking. "I..." My gaze swept from Gabriel, to Arun, to the crowd, where it happened to land on Alice. Nobody offered to help. The night was too quiet.

"All right," I said, my voice a croak. "Shelter." The word jumped to the front of my mind, as good a representation of what I wanted to be for these people as any - a way to redeem myself for what I'd done in my sole remaining memory. I cast around for confirmation and, receiving none, repeated myself. "Shelter," I said.

Gabriel nodded, cracking a slight smile. "Oliver Shelter," he said. "A good choice."

He wrapped up the meeting then, giving instructions to the villagers, telling us all that nobody was to leave the village or walk through the jungle alone for any reason. The breeze picked up. It was cold as only the first gust of wind after the sun has set can be.

The town hall broke up, many going back to their dinner, a group of men setting off with a stretcher to retrieve Sirus's body. Arun walked up to me.

"I run the hunting group."

I took a deep breath, praying for patience. "Yes, Gabriel told me," I said, keeping my voice casual.

His eyes were narrowed, dangerous, and again I wondered what I could have done to antagonize him so terribly.

"We're going to keep a close eye on you," he said. "My group is the sharpest in the village. We'll find out soon enough if you can really be trusted."

Oh, give me a break, I wanted to shout. Instead I reigned in my tongue. "You can trust me."

"And you will—" Arun pointed at my chest, his finger stopping just an inch short of my shirt, "—listen to my instructions. When we're out in the jungle, my word is law. Carelessness or disobedience can mean death."

He stalked away and I watched him go. The knowledge that Arun and I were going to have problems sooner or later didn't please me - I had seen him fighting the Strangers in the jungle two days ago. He might be a huge asset to the villagers and their survival on the island, but that didn't mean he was right about everything. I would have to be careful.

"Got your pup, bud." Finn appeared behind me, holding a large squirming ball of fluff in his arms. "Mohammed checked him out and said he's fine. Apparently he was sick a while ago, maybe a week or two back, so his family abandoned him. He's been malnourished since then."

I gratefully accepted the dog from Finn, setting him on the grass where he panted happily, tongue lolling. Cooper joined us, punching Finn on the arm.

"You guys hungry?" he asked.

"If you want dinner," I said to Box, "follow me. And behave."

Together we went to grab something to eat, briefly forgetting the fact that there would be a funeral - the second in two days - in less than an hour.