Ties (Book 1)

29. The Wedding and New Ties

"Mackenzie, are you okay? You seem like you're out of it today." Levi questioned as he drove me home after the movies.

I stayed quiet for a while before answering. "I just feel sad. Today my brother would have turned twenty-four."

He pulled into my driveway and parked after putting in the code. "Would have?"

I suppose I'll just tell you everything now... You've waited long enough. "My brother, Johnathan, passed away last year, a week before summer vacation started. He had been living in New York after he graduated from college. He had basically become my mom and dad, since they were never home. Aside from the staff that worked in our home, it was just us two. Johnathan had been my best friend. I loved him so much, he was my everything. I don't know if everyone loves their siblings as much as I loved my brother, but I really did appreciate everything he did for me. We used to have a nanny named Gloria; after she died, we took care of each other." I shrugged in resignation. "All my dreams aren't nightmares, they're memories of him. H-he was the one that called me May. That's why I grew upset, when you and I first met and you called me that. I nearly broke down in front of you and I couldn't do that when the fact is that nobody knew or knows what happened last summer except for Mike. You and I had barely met and I don't think I've ever been ready to say anything, until now." At that point I was sobbing so I had to stop. Levi grabbed me and hugged me really tightly from across the seat.

"Thank you so much for telling me, baby, and trusting me. I love you for being so strong."

"I couldn't keep it from you anymore, it just wasn't fair."

"Well you told me now. I have a question though."

"What is it?"

"Why did you say it was your fault?"

I stilled in his arms and then pulled away from him. "Well first, I asked him to come visit me because I missed him. He complied and came to Texas for me. I should have just waited, and I'm sure my parents would have paid for a ticket for me to go to New York for the whole summer. Anyways, he drove down here instead of flying, because he hated getting on airplanes." I chuckled at the memory. I would always make fun of him for being scared. "There was a huge storm, and he was almost here."

I paused, remembering how the wind swished the pouring rain to different sides. Thunder ringing in the sky, illuminating the city. "When he was driving, an old tree broke and fell on his car, crushing him and killing him at impact." I clenched my teeth together, as I finished telling my story.

"It wasn't your fault Mackenzie, you can't control mechanics or nature. It was just the turn of events that made your brother leave this earth, not you."

"For the longest time, I felt like my parents blamed me... And maybe my dad still does."

"What do you mean?"

"Since his death, my parents spent even less time at home. They left town really soon after we buried my brother. Maryanne, the maid, says that they don't like seeing me because I look like him. I asked my mom one time, and she said that she couldn't stand to see me because I looked like my brother. But I told her that he was a replica of her face more than mine... And then she cried and said she hated looking in a mirror."

"But she doesn't blame you."

"I don't think so."

"Well you shouldn't either. What happened that night was out of your control. What if you flew to New York and there was a storm and your plane crashed? It wouldn't be anyone's fault."

"I guess you're right."

"No. I am right." I smiled at how sure he was of himself.

*****
Graduation happened on a sunny Wednesday in June. All the guys were dressed in black caps and gowns, while the girls wore the red. The ceremony was long, because there were many seniors graduating... Thankfully. My parents went and they took flowers for me, which I thought was sweet and weird all in one.