What We Become

Chapter 1 - Now or Never

I was tired. And utterly terrified. That's what started it all. That's how I ended up with these people. They were more animals than people. I didn't want to be alone anymore. The groups I had been with before, one by one they all fell or disbanded. The dead were relentless and as the world went on, and we adapted, you quickly saw that same relentless aspect with the living. Looking back on it now, I should have kept walking the day they found me. They promised they'd keep me safe. Promised a better life than how I was living alone. I should have been able to call bullshit in an instant. I was smarter than that. I should have been wary of these people right from the start. But after my dad, my judgement had become clouded. I didn't want to see what they were at first. And when I did, I just didn't want to be alone. And so I stayed. We got rid of our names. The leader convinced us that we were nothing. We merely existed to rid the world of others. That was our sole purpose. To bring the world back to its primitive state. Settlements, communities...those things didn't belong in this world. And so when and if we ever came across them, we'd kill them. Innocent people...at times, even children. No one argued unless they wanted to meet their early demise. I let my guard down and now, 6 years later, I was living with this guilt and fear that today could be my last. The guilt of all the people that I was ordered to kill. The faces of their horrified expressions haunt me to this very day.

I hardly slept because of this and because I didn't trust anyone in my group. My group...I was never meant to be here with them. But I was desperate and took their word. There were times when I thought about finding my way out. Making it on my own like I had before them. There were a few of those like me at the beginning of this formation who had attempted as much. But they were found and made an example of. Less of that went on as the years passed. But I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted out. With everything that I had endured, everything I'd gone through and everything I had lost, I still held onto hope. Hope is what got me through so much before this. My father instilled in me that no matter how grim the circumstances may be, hope was the one thing that shouldn't be lost. Once all hope is gone, your life may as well end. Hope kept me moving forward after I lost him to the dead. And not long after I found this group. I survived. For him. Everything I did now was for him. Which was why I had to leave this group. How could he even look at me knowing all the horrible things I'd done if he was still alive? I couldn't stay here any longer.

"What is it?" her voice rang out as I left my thoughts behind.

I looked over to where I heard it.

She was talking to someone else. I stood very still and listened to what was being said.

"Others," he said.

"How many?" she asked.

"Two. They look to be from a community," he said.

She thought for a moment.

"Two groups. One with me and the other, with you. Lydia," she said calling for her daughter.

The girl came over to her side.

"You're with my group. The rest of you, Beta will stay with you. We will be back. We'll find where these people call home and we'll take care of them if need be," she said.

Another community on her hit list. Lately she's been telling us that we no longer had to take out communities if they never crossed us. Personally, I believed she was using that as a play to convince us that we're 'evolving'. I could see past her lies though. I doubted anyone else could or would even want to. The two groups split up and disappeared into the trees. It was now or never. No more submitting to Alpha and her rules. I was done.

We were currently occupying an open field. The dead, our companions and our shield, roamed nearby. I aimlessly made my way over to the herd with the full intention of losing myself in it. Since no one ever paid much attention to me in the first place, slipping away was easy for me to do. No one suspected anything and I used that to my advantage. When I was further enough away from our campsite, I too disappeared into the woods. There was a creek nearby that I went to. Taking off the skinned mask that covered my face, I threw it as far away from me as I could. Walking to the edge where the water met the mud, I knelt down and washed my face. Relieved to have that stench no longer around, I stood up and looked around to see which direction would be the best. I heard the snap of a twig and turned to see what or who had spotted me. He had followed me.

"You took off your skin," he said.

"I just came to clean it," I said.

He walked over to me.

"Then where is it?"

I didn't answer.

"You're running aren't you?"

Again I didn't answer. Instead, I gripped the handle of my knife that was hidden in my right sleeve. He chuckled.

"I should have known you'd try sooner or later. Ever since that night we...well the look of fear in your eyes afterward, that should have been the first sign. But you hid it so well that I forgot the idea. Until a few days ago when I caught you glaring at Alpha when she beat Lydia for the hundredth time. You're soft on her, aren't you? You know, she deserved every single one of those beatings she got," he said.

I'd heard enough. He made a mistake when he got close to me. I revealed my knife and slid it across his throat. I watched as the blood oozed from the slit and him cupping his hands over it. He slowly knelt on the ground.

"They....they'll come for you," he whispered.

I knelt down in front of him and looked him straight in the eye.

"Anyone who dies, they move on. No one's gonna care that you're gone. No one's gonna care that I am. And if they do, so be it," I said, pushing him to the ground.

I heard moans and looked around. There was one of the dead walking towards us.

"Dinner time," I said, piercing his abdomen and moving the knife up.

His blood and insides fell on either side of him. That was that. I went back to the creek to wash my knife and my hands. I turned just in time to see the dead one fall to its knees and begin devouring him. I smirked at the sight of my rapist getting exactly what he deserved. An agonizing death. I stood up and walked deeper into the woods.