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in the end.
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in the end, gon had decided to pass on going to hisoka's match. killua had thought he would check if y/n wanted to go now with him. he hadn't seen her at all for a few days, which was far from usual.
she'd regularly come to his room, bother him most the day and leave. though, he had seen not even a small peek of her. arriving at her room door, he stood before the red door. knocking on it after only a few seconds.
no response. again he knocked, to no avail. "hey y/n!" he yelled, trying to see if she were there. he stood around, waiting for an answer. he didn't get one, so he simply slipped the ticket under the door.
"if you want to come, here's the ticket!" he yelled again. he left to go talk to gon, it was like she vanished. though, in reality, y/n sat on the floor of her room. hearing his voice, it was painful and soothing at the same time.
"help me.." she mumbled, her eyes dull. she crawled through the darkness of her room to the small sliver of light coming from the bottom of the door. taking the ticket in her hands, she held it in her palms.
the delight that she felt in that moment, it was indescribable. all the misery she felt before all melted away like it was nothing. tears of joy flooded her vision, the tears falling onto the ticket also. incoherent noises came out of y/n's mouth.
taking a finger, she wiped away her tears. a genuine smile spread across her face. "thank you.. kil-chan. you keep saving me.." again, he was her savior. he was the light in her (literal) darkness. her tears almost had no end.
'you don't deserve them, spoiled brat.' her thoughts taunting her again. the sudden words made y/n accidentally crush the ticket. her vision was no longer clouded with tears of happiness. her head hesitantly looked toward her palms.
her head spun as her eyesight was blurry. y/n's eyes and hands shook, tilting her palms down, the ticket gracefully fell to the floor. y/n's hands slapping against her forehead, gripping handfuls her hair. "stop, stop, stop!" she yelled.
her thoughts had taunted her enough over the past few days. she felt she was at her mental limit. y/n fell onto her back, hitting heavily onto the wood flooring. she felt paralyzed. trapped. even if she did run away from her parents, she never really escaped their ideals.
they were always pounded into her, so how could she forget? her thoughts weren't even hers at times. her thoughts would be her parents at times. "please.." y/n pleaded, her head still spun all around the room.
"leave me, be already.." her words slurred as she felt herself slipping away. 'you should go back.' her thoughts commented. "i would never." y/n said before she passed out, due to lack of food. she hadn't eaten in days, her stomach felt as if it were to collapse.
though, her thoughts hurt even worse. the endless crying. the thick air. the dark and lonesome room. the mixture of them played perfectly in her depressive state. she just wished that someone would comfort her right now.
her body steadily made itself into the fetal position, her arms wrapped around her legs. tears poured out of her eyes. her own body warmth gave a sense of ease to her. y/n wasn't aware what day or even time it was when she did awake up.
but, damn. her stomach did hurt like hell. though she knew, no one could see her like this. even if they didn't say so, she'd seem pathetic. their eyes would say so. their gaze. the look they would give to her in her state.
y/n gripped her stomach, "damn it.." she dragged her body across the room. pulling herself to the television. maybe she could find something to distract herself. her frail hand reached for the remote only for it to drop to the ground.
when it hit the ground it pressed the television on, the first thing that played was the overview of the arena. it was hisoka's fight. y/n's eyes were glued onto the screen, scooting closer and holding onto the screen.
it was a pan of the audience and she wanted to see if she could find someone. gon, killua, wing, or even zushi. anyone. she just wanted to see them. her eyes frantically searched over the screen, not a single pixel was left out of her vision.
though, it was completely futile. killua sat in the large crowd, waiting for the match to start. he grew a bit worried, he gave her the ticket right? maybe he went to the wrong door. he bite down on his finger, growing more and more anxious.
the match was finally beginning, killua hoped it would ease his mind for now. y/n gripped the screen securely. both of them watched in shock as hisoka's opponent was able to get a clean hit the first try.
after taken a couple of hits and losing an arm, hisoka identified that his opponent had a double. y/n was greatly confused, as she didn't even notice anything wrong or off. when she did see the double, she felt absolutely dumbfounded.
maybe it was the fact she hadn't eaten in a while. yeah, that's it. that's all. she held her stomach, a bit of self-pity washed over her. but she was quick to dismiss it. if her parents saw her like this, who knows what they'd do.
parents. the mere thought of them made her sick. but even if she tried, she couldn't get them out of her mind. this in itself was sheer torture. maybe that was their intent by enforcing their ideals and beliefs. no, y/n was sure that was it. her eyes went dull,
