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attention
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once y/n regained her attention to the screen, she wasn't too surprised to see that hisoka had won. watching as he walked out of the frame, her eyes glued to the audience. she just wanted to see someone.
something familiar. something comforting. but before she knew it, they were wrapping up the fight. once it concluded, her shaking hand reached for the remote. turning off the television, her eyes dulled.
killua not knowing much better reported to gon. saying the fight was amazing. though, to y/n, it was torment. she knew she was helpless. weak. a sudden wave of nausea washed over her, a hand clutched onto her stomach.
dragging herself to the bathroom, she drank multiple glasses of water. and for the first time, she turned on the lights. in her reflection showed her disheveled state. her hair tangled like never seen before, her skin dull, her eyes bloodshot.
it made her jump, the own sight of herself scared her. quickly, she brushed out her hair. found eye drops somehow at the bottom of her bag and splashed cold water onto her face. now she seemed more, alive.
she smiled at her reflection, the fake smile soon fading. she stared blankly back at herself. she stepped out of the bathroom, looking to the door. she was nervous, what if they know? what if they ask? what if she makes them worry?
she shook her head, 'no, that couldn't be true.' her head filled with empty thoughts. nothing. none of her thoughts provoked her. she sighed at the peace now. moving toward the door y/n stepped on the ticket.
her foot shot up, bending down she grabbed the ticket. she smiled warmly toward it, putting it into her back pocket, opposite of her needles. reluctantly, she opened the door to be met with the red carpet and creme colored walls.
she looked right and left, seeing if anyone was there. her foot stepped out, resting there. gradually, her feet lead her to gon's room. she knocked, she would usually just barge in, but she felt after not seeing him for, well, maybe days? she thought that it would be rude.
"come in!" gon's always cheerful voice called. y/n opened the door, allowing it to steadily open. "y/n!" gon said surprised, but glad to see her. y/n clasped both her hands in front of her, hanging her head low in shame.
killua stood near gon, he was out of words. 'where had she been?' was the first question that popped into both of their minds. y/n stopped at the foot of the bed. her head lifted, a smiled spread across with her eyes closed.
her head tilted only a bit, "hey!" she said playfully. y/n sat down, "what did i miss?" she said still trying her hardest to smile. "oh! did you go to hisoka's fight y/n? i told killua to give you his extra ticket!"
y/n giggled, looking at killua. "don't get the wrong idea!" killua crossed his arms and look in another direction. it seemed that y/n was able to trick them quite well so far. "where were you anyways?" killua asked trying to change the subject.
y/n hadn't thought about that, now she had to come up with a lie on the spot. "well, i, was, training!" she flicked out her palms and smiled. killua's eyebrow raised and at that moment he saw a small red tint to her eyes. as if they inflamed.
gon just smiled. "really? me too!" gon commented. y/n giggled, "so, soon you'll be able to train again, right?" y/n asked. "yeah!" gon raised his arms up. y/n forced a giggle out. it felt so unnatural to act like this when she felt like this. but she did it for the sake of them.
she didn't want them to fret. actually, that's the last thing she wanted. y/n didn't want pity, the disgusted stares, the worrying. maybe that's why she was so hesitant to tell anyone about her parents. she brushed off the thought quickly, leaving it at that.
when she finally got the chance, she left the two. she felt so drained, it was strange. she hadn't felt that way before. she gripped her shirt, a hand holding her body against the wall. it curled into a fist, pounding onto the wall.
"damn it!" she whisper shouted. little did she know, killua watched afar from a corner. he watched as a few drops of sweat dripped from her face. y/n hyperventilated, she just wanted a small bite of food.
though, she knew it wouldn't be right. swiftly, she got herself together. returning to a neutral state. she fast-walked to her room, killua following behind her. killua hadn't seen anything strange after that. she just went to her room.
it was dead silent though, a bit unsettling at that. killua decided he would keep this information to himself for now. maybe he would try to get more details. since, he was curious. well, who wasn't?
he watched and listened for anything. nothing. he shrugged, 'i'll go back for now..' at a almost lightning fast speed, he traveled to his room. on the surface, everything looked normal. but it was far from it. y/n laid on the floor in pain.
y/n's body entwined in a fetal position. her hands pressed against her stomach, hoping it would ease the pain. tears pricked her eyes, her teeth clenched down. her breath unsteady. her body felt like it writhed.
