"𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑖𝑛 ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑒𝑦𝑒𝑠, 𝑑𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑒?"
☾. °. . ' , •
•. ° . * .·. . ✧:. ·.
the loss of her best friend, and the boy she loved cheating on her.
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TW!! there will be mentions of suic...
I stood there. in front of the house i was so familiar with. looking up at the window i looked out of so often made tears fill up in my eyes. i could hear the crunch of my shoes on the ground as i stepped out of the car. i turned my head only to heard a loud sigh from my mom as she walked over to me.
"you'll be okay hun." my mom said while patting my back.
you'll be okay. kept replaying in my mind as my stomach churned scared of what i would see when i opened the door into their house.
i then looked into her bloodshot eyes, and put on a half smile to assure her i was thankful for her words.
"i'm going to leave now, i will see you when kate calls me. please be open, please be yourself, i want you to be okay again." she said with cracks and sniffles in her voice.
i nodded while regretting even getting in the car to go over here.
i could hear the crunch of her feet and the slam of the car door indicating she was leaving. cars scared me, i could never drive again. the constant fear and traumatic memories of what took place in a car will haunt me for the rest of my tiny existence on this floating ball.
my legs were moving but my mind was blank. i managed to walk to the front door, then rung the bell. my handshaking and my heart rapidly beating as i could hear steps coming closer.the door opened and my heart dropped, but then i saw a smiling kate in the door frame.
"hey hun long time no see" she said with a smile and signaling for me to come inside.
i pulled down my sleeves and started playing with them to ease my anxiety. as i walked into their house a wash of guilt rush over me at the thought of seeing him here. i step inside and feel my feet thump on the ground. in the distance i could see him laying with my lookalike. my heart shattered at the thought, why couldn't that be me? he gave me all my happiness but then ripped it all away like tearing a piece of paper. i had to look away before all the memories started flooding back like they always did.
"fleur, sorry i had to go grab something but you can come follow me" kate said in a reassuring smile.
kate. she's the sweetest person ever, i always thought of marrying ruel, and everyone thought the same. i know it sounds funny but we were so perfect together. but if it's over then it's over.
i followed kate into this corridor, and then to this room that i believe was her office because it was all fancy and had a couch. i sat down on the black leather couch, and i could instantly feel my palms start to sweat.
"so, your mom told me why you were here" kate said as her face goes soft.
i stare at her her face, she looks so young and beautiful. i could see the resemblance of ruel in her and it brought a smile to my face.
"don't be nervous to talk to me, please fleur, never be afraid to get help." kate said as she rested her hand on my knee.
"okay, so uhm, ever since gracey's been gone i've felt so alone." i croaked out.
kate just stared at me and signaled for me to keep talking.
"oh uh.. my mind just tells me all these things. i'm not good enough, i'm not pretty enough, i should be gone and not gracey, hurting myself will bring me less pain and replace the mental by distracting me with physical. i just feel trapped and i cant help it, my mind is so powerful and i cant escape it, my mind is a prison." i said as i could feel a teardrop glide down my cheek like a hockey puck on ice. - the session went well, i trust kate, more than myself. i was walking through their corridors in their abnormally large house for around me. i could hear a car drive off and the sound of their front door shutting. i kept walking, only staring at my feet as a rapidly scratched my arm because of my nerves. i scratched my cut a little too hard, and i could see blood soaking into my peach colored long sleeve shirt.
their house was quiet and i could hear the echos of my breaths and feet tapping the floor. while i was rubbing the blood into my shirt assuming it would make it go away, only to do the opposite, my head collide with someones body. him. i just bumped into him.
the feeling of dread was very evident at this moment as a i looked up into his eyes.
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