Off Ice.

Chapter Twelve.

Finn followed me on Instagram again.

I was in class when I got the notification. It took me by surprise for some reason. Like I said, I don't use the app really anymore and I hadn't thought about it since we started being friends. But I guess he did.

I accepted it and followed him back and spent the rest of the class itching to go through his page. I wanted to see what he's been up too - who he's posted with.

When I got back to my apartment I went on and started lurking, but he really hasn't posted much either. There were a few photos of him and Jack and then him and the guy he spoke to in French the night of the game. I know who he is, of course. I'm a hockey fan, for Christ's sake, and Sebastien Moreau is definitely a fan favorite in the league.

I also saw a picture of him and Morgan, which made me melt. It was from over the summer and I just can't believe how much she's grown up. She's absolutely stunning, with her long, light brown hair and emerald green eyes. She's everything I'd want to look like, that's for sure.

Grace was right, too. He never deleted the pictures of us. I couldn't look at them, though. It hurt too much.

After looking through his profile I went to my own and my heart faltered. I still had the pictures with Theo up and I regretted accepting Finn's request before archiving them. I don't know why, it's not like I feel obligated to keep my relationship from Finn. He's obviously been involved with it the past few weeks, but still. It just feels.. Awkward?

Especially since the last one I posted was from that stupid art exhibit that I now is ruined in my mind.

Regardless, I archived them then and just hoped that Finn didn't go through my page.

It's the second week of December and I'm trying so fucking hard to get myself out of this funk. December is my favorite month of the year and I've barely enjoyed it.

Maybe once I finish finals this week I'll feel better. I'm glad the semester is just about over, but it's also kind of terrifying. I only have one semester left after this and then that's it. I have no idea what I'm going to do post graduation - or where I'll be.

I want to stay in LA I think. I know I don't want to go back to New York. Those couple months living with my aunt were fine, but I feel more at home here.

I hate being an adult.

Finn's just got to the east coast a couple days ago, so we've talked a bit less than we had last week. I mean, we were talking constantly but it'd be at least a conversation a day through text and a few phone calls.

He's texted me pretty much everyday but because times and schedules, we haven't been able to keep up. It's a reality check, honestly. It was just another reminder of why we didn't work out.

I'm really busy with school, though, so I don't find myself waiting for him. I only have one more test tomorrow and then just the rest of the five page research paper due that night.

I say just the rest, but I haven't even started it yet.

But that's fine.

I'm sitting on the floor of my room, papers and textbooks spread out around me as I study. I'm a psychopath when it comes to finals and midterms - I'm terrified of failing them.

I think I'm good for this test, though. I really haven't had anything else to do besides study, so.

I lay on my back with a huff, rubbing my eyes with my knuckles sleepily. It's gotta be close to 2AM right now. My test is at 10 so I really should get some sleep.