Off Ice.

Chapter Fifty-Three.

Finn

If I feel as numb as I do, why does it hurt so much to take a breath?

It's been around two hours I think and she's still not awake, she's still out cold next to me. I know Bisa said that she's okay, but what if something is actually wrong? What if she ingested too much of that shit, what if it made its way to her organs or something?

I know nothing about this stuff, I'm a dumb fucking hockey player for Christ's sake, but I know that ingesting chloroform and GHB can't be good for you. It's destroying me that she's going through this, that something is hurting her.

I called my mom after Casey suggested doing it, but I honestly felt so detached and exhausted that he ended up taking the phone to explain it to her when I started to get really snippy towards her. I was getting annoyed because every second I was talking to someone else is a second I wasn't by her side.

I feel bad I was a bit nasty to my mom because she sounded worried sick, but I couldn't help it. It started hitting me like a truck and I couldn't focus on anything but just sitting with my girl.

I can't believe I let this happen. I can't believe I let my guard down.

I should of been standing by that door like I always am, I should of walked her through the parking lot. I was so far away. She went to step behind a truck and after a few moments I felt like my heart literally combusted, and not in a good way.

I dropped the roses and sprinted to her, my breath got caught in my throat and I feel like it's still stuck there. I knew something was wrong. I had that instant feeling of nausea and just knew that something happened in the moment that I didn't see her. I didn't even know what I was doing until I was standing over him with his blood covering my hands.

When I saw him holding her down with his fucking hands on her, I just lost it - there's no other way to put it. Everything that I had bottled up, all the rage that has been brewing since I saw him standing down the hall that first time just exploded out of me. She was already out of it, but I just didn't realize how badly. She was trying to fight him off but I could tell how weak she felt.

I was covered in blood as I held her to me. I felt a surge of overwhelming guilt when I grasped her face and the blood smeared across her perfect cheeks - against the freckles that I constantly admire. I just hope that she didn't feel the warm liquid on her, I hope she didn't realize.

I feel like I blacked out when I jumped on him, yet I remember every second of it. I remember how it felt when his bones broke in my grasp, I remember how good it felt. I don't know what I did to him. Casey only told me that he was alive, but wouldn't give me any details as to what was wrong with him. He wasn't moving at all when I was ripped off of him but that wasn't going to stop me, so I guess that's a good thing or else I would of killed him. There's no doubt in my mind that I would killed him.

But I don't care about what state he's in anymore. I did when I got here, but now that I'm with my Aves, she's the only thing on my mind.

My heart aches as I look at her - at the rashes around her mouth and the scratches on her cheek from when she fell face first into the gravel trying to get to me.

The image of her in the state she was in is never going to leave my mind, just like how I still see her covered in Casey's blood whenever I close my eyes. She was so lifeless. She was pale and couldn't keep her eyes open, she looked like a shell of the person I love.

Grace, Casey, and Cam are all still here. They're not going anywhere until she wakes up. I'm still sat at her side, one of my arms resting on the bed with my fist holding up my head, my other hand holding hers and my thumb running across her skin. She seems cold, I should find her another blanket.