Off Ice.

Chapter Forty-Eight.

Finn

I wouldn't say that being in LA is good for the soul, but being with the people I love is.

I'm leaving LA once again today. Leaving every other week has gotten a bit old at this point, but I have to get back before my team does and they fly home after the game tonight.

I was cleared to drive a couple of days ago so that's how I'm getting to San Jose. I can't imagine flying would really speed up the recovery process and it's only a 5 or so hour drive.

Saying goodbye is never easy obviously, but I am excited to get back to my life with the team. Even just hanging out with them and going to practice seems like a luxury.

I've also been really on the idea of telling them about Seattle sooner rather than later. I have been out for so long and missed so much, I just want them to know that I have limited time with them - I don't want to blind side them.

I think what's making the goodbye a little easier this time around is that in this extra week I've had with them, I didn't take a second of it for granted. I spent every day holding my girl as close as I could. I spent so much time with Casey too and I had a fucking blast. It reminded me a lot of how we were back in Seattle, when we would spend every waking moment together while on trips. I don't think I've quite processed the fact that we're going to be doing that again.

It really has not hit me that we get to play together again. I think the move to Seattle has settled in, but not the idea of being on the same team as Casey. We only played a full regular season and half of a playoff round together in the four years we've been friends, that's it. That's really not a long time yet I feel like it's still weird as hell to play against him.

Don't get me wrong, I fucking love playing against him. We're both mean competitors and we both wanna win in the worst way, especially when we play each other. I always have a blast at the games against the Kings, I look forward to them for weeks before they happen.

But I'm ready to become his teammate again. Even when we're just goofing off on the ice and practicing alone, we sauce passes to each other without even needing to look where the other is. We just have this weird predictability when it comes to each other, we just know where the other is at all times - we know how the other thinks.

I have that with Jack too, to an extent. We've worked real well together obviously, we've been on the same line since Seattle and haven't fizzled really. There were a few stretches where the lines were thrown around but we always end up back together.

I'm not even sure if Casey and I will play together on a line or not. I obviously don't know who else in the league is going to Seattle, but Case and I are both centers. I've never not played center in the NHL and he has for the most part. He's played on the right wing when he hasn't and that's where he was when we played on the same line with the Thunderbirds - though you can really put him anywhere and he'll fit right in.

I've always admired that about Casey. He's so multifaceted - he's literally good at everything and it's really annoying.

After we had a family dinner last night and all hung out and watched another movie, we headed in for the night. I haven't had any sort of bad dreams since that one night I had that weird delusion or whatever you want to call it. I guess that could be considered sleep paralysis but I was able to move. I was able to hurt my girl.

I know that she's okay and that she doesn't hate me for accidentally doing that, but that doesn't mean I don't feel like the world largest douchebag. I don't care if it was an accident, I caused her pain. I never, ever want to cause her any pain - no matter what it is.