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"I just feel like I don't fit in."
info - lexi x fem reader - 1st person - y/n's pov - you're very close friends with lexi - y/f/p - your favorite piercing - tw: brief mention of drug usage
"Thank you!" I said a little loudly to the workers behind the counter, getting a few responses of "You're welcome!" or "Have a great day!" back. I grabbed our orders and headed to Lexi, who was seated at a small table against the wall. As I was walking over, Lexi turned her head towards me and smiled, putting her phone away. "Thank you!" Lexi said cheerfully, grabbing whatever she ordered from my hands. "Wanna head upstairs?" I asked. Lexi nodded, sipping on her latte.
We walked out of starbucks, starting our day with shopping. We walked around to check out a bunch of clothing stores and sephora. When we were looking in sephora, Lexi would occasionally come up to me, asking if a certain product would define her features better and look good on her. "What about this contour?" She asked, grabbing a random contour palette. "Have you ever tried contour?" I asked teasingly, knowing she doesn't wear a ton of makeup. "Thinking about it." Lexi's words trailed off a bit as she kept examining the palette and then walking away to get something else.
By the time we were done walking around for a few hours, we were on the first floor, looking for a food court to eat lunch at. As we were walking, Lexi stopped us in our tracks, pointing to a small piercing booth. "You've always said you wanted a y/f/p piercing, right? Why not get it now? I'll get one with you!" Lexi had some enthusiasm as she said that. "Are you crazy?" I asked, stopping her before she could take any steps forward. "What's the matter? I wanna try something new." "Would you get in trouble?" I asked. "Isn't that the point?" Lexi shot back, smiling a bit.
I realized something felt off, following Lexi's footsteps. I lightly stopped her, making her walk slower. "What? Do you not wanna get one?" Lexi asked, a bit upset and confused. "I mean.. I do. It's just-" I paused for a moment before speaking again, "Are you doing okay? It's like you're getting into these new things and it's just surprising me a little." Lexi slowly turned her head away from me, directing her attention towards the ground. I could tell I said something off and made her upset.
"No! It's okay! You can do whatever you want but I'm just wondering.. is anything happening that's leading you to do these things? It's like you're forcing yourself to get out of your shell." Lexi looked up at me with softened eyes and started fidgeting a little. She did this when she was anxious. She immediately took my hand in hers and led me to one of the smaller restrooms that tend to be less crowded.
Lexi checked the stalls for anyone in the restroom with us and then rested her body against the tiled walls. I put my bags down and hugged her, pulling her in my embrace. "I'm sorry if I upset you. I'm just curious." I said, resting my head on her shoulder as we hugged. I softly pulled away to look at her, running my fingers through her hair. It looked like a sudden shadow of darkness washed over Lexi as her expression was almost blank yet soft and she seemed to turn pale.
Lexi sighed and looked down at me when she opened her mouth. "I just.. I just feel like I don't fit in." I tilted my head at her. "What do you mean?" "Well.. look around you. Everyone in this town seems to have the best time of their lives like they're throwing the world away, not worrying about a thing. All of you are partying, doing drugs, hooking up.. meanwhile i'm standing here as a person who still has their innocence. I've never been in drama, never hooked up with anyone, never enjoyed parties. I don't know.. i just feel like i'm not fitting in. Like I'm holding myself back from everyone. It doesn't sit right with me." She poured out her feelings to me, breaking my curiosity.
"Lex, you're perfect the way you are. You fit in this imperfect world. So what if you're sobered up in the corner of parties, not talking to anyone? We all have to go through that some times. The reason why we party and do drugs is because we know this is the last time of our lives where we don't have to worry about following the rules. We don't have to be adults just yet. Our generation is so careless and wild.. sometimes it's good and sometimes it's scary. Just because we party until our energy is out and have a good time, doesn't mean it's the right thing to do." I reassured Lexi. She started to pick her head up, looking at me.
"Not gonna lie, it can get dark and messy. You've seen it before." She nodded at me. "Personally, I think you're in a good spot, Lex. You may feel like an outsider but you're not. You're in your own category and that's fine. If you really wanna be rebellious and get out of your shell, so be it. Just take it slowly and at your own pace and note that every reckless thing the teenagers around you do isn't necessarily right. You may feel free in the moment but hey, once you wake up after a major hangover, it's not so great." Lexi and I both chuckled, remembering how our friends always came home drunk and passed out after parties, including myself. Lexi was always the sober one and took care of Cassie and I.
"If you don't feel comfortable doing all these things, it's okay. Don't do them. Innocence doesn't shed on its own but being able to get out of the way and have fun in your own way is the best feeling." I finished my lecture and stared at Lexi. I felt the tension seep down as her shoulders slowly fell to the ground and a gentle smile spread across her face.
We immediately went into a hug, chuckling a bit as we both rocked each other back and forth around the restroom. I was surprised no one came in this whole time.
"So, wanna get that piercing with me?" Lexi asked.
