25 to life // euphoria one shots

10 - i need you pt 2

" I stayed with you because I felt like I needed you. But in reality, I just wanted to be loved. "

info
- nate x fem reader
- 1st person
- y/n's and nate's perspectives
- you're nate's ex
- some angst about toxic relationships
- tw: mention of abuse
- continuation of pt 1

y/n's pov

I walked out of the cafe, feeling refreshed. I was walking around the city, basking in the smell of bakeries and cafes hinting at my nose and the crowds of people walking past me. Traffic seemed to be at an average amount today. I took steps across the street as I was done waiting at a crosswalk with a bunch of people wanting to walk by. Some cars can be heard honking once in a while but overall, the atmosphere felt the same.

I strode to a small park, wanting to spend time by myself for now. I came to a halt, letting my mind swoon over the beautiful landscape of the city in front of me before sitting down, getting comfortable on a bench. A lot of shit has went down some months ago and I've been slowly growing from it ever since. I've become more reliant on myself to relax and become more independent. I don't need him anymore.

"Y/n?"

My eyes widened a bit at the raspy voice coming from beside me. I slowly turn my gaze over to my left to see him standing there with practical stars in his eyes.

Fuck.

I stared at him with a blank expression on my face. The freshness that I was feeling before immediately died down and all I could feel was nothing. I thought I was able to avoid him for a while now.

All the bad memories started flooding through my head. I wanted to nearly throw up just looking at Nate.

He seemed to be trying to read me. His eyes dropped lowly but still glancing at me. He decided to make his way over. I slowly shifted with uncomfort, looking straight ahead and sitting stiffly.

I heard his footsteps come to a quick halt as he saw my posture change. However, he was already standing close by the edge of the bench, etching his eyes on me. I could feel he was upset and had a range of emotions. He's a literal madman.

I heard him start fumbling with his hoodie strings softly to himself before sitting down, scooting a little bit away from me out of caution. "Look, y/n, I know you don't like me anymore and I understand. I fucked up really badly and I owe you an apology-" I simply hummed in response, feeling almost numb now that Nate's presence filled my soul.

"I.. You're honestly an angel. I don't expect you to come back and I won't beg for you.. ever. You can stay away from me and I'll stay away from you. I just wanted to talk to you like this for one last time."

As much as I hated Nate, from what I've learned in our messy relationship, he has a real heart. Despite being back and forth all the time, causing me to always think about whether he really loved me or not, I've learned that he did. It's just so small and hard to pick up on due to his anger issues.

I couldn't handle it. As much as I wanted to be there for him at the time, it was terrible to endure all of that abuse. He was never going to get better if he just kept pushing me away. But unfortunately, here we are. Right in that exact predicament. He kept cuddling with me and kissing me until my heart swooned and then next thing we knew, he would start hitting me, leaving bruises that were easy to cover but hard to take in.

That's not a relationship anyone wants to be in. I had no clue how he really felt about me. But I later learned that he did love me. He just isn't in the right place. And apparently, I was only beginning to fix that. However, as you can see, things didn't work out... like at all.