bad journal

As She Falls to the Ground

bad journal #19

As She Falls to the Ground

how was this supposed to be okay

how was i supposed to not get hurt

what was i thinking

what was i thinking

why can’t i just forget

why can’t it be someone else

this is just too much to take

i can’t do this

i want to undo the day my heart

started beating for you

i want to pretend

i was fine without you

but i wasn’t

i was drowning

i was losing

until you gave me something to hope for

and i fell for it

and i fell even further

i was stupid and naive

i thought you could save me

i thought you were different

i thought i could be okay

i wanted a happy ending

but i should have known better

i should have known how hopeless

i was, the ground came too quick

and there was nothing to catch me

there was nothing for me

i was left alone again

in darkness,

with nothing

but tears and broken pieces

how could it be

that i feel like i had lost everything

if there was even nothing for me to lose?

i thought we could be the perfect duet

but it was all just wishful thinking

and i don’t know why i had hoped

for a happy ending, when

turns out i was meant to dance alone.

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Read it again. But this time, read only the last parts of each stanza.

There is still so much that I want to say... but I will leave it for now.  Thank you so much if you have read all the way from #1 to #16 of 'bad journal'. And thank you as well, if you had just happened to click on this one chapter :)

This book means the world to me. And I will always be there for anyone who needs help. So don't be afraid to ask for it. I love you all and I hope you have a wonderful day

- the author