|Gavin Reed x Male reader| Detroit Become Human|

Chapter Fifteen

- Okay, Okay, TRIGGER WARNING! This chapter contains mentions of rape and self abuse and if anything along those likes triggers you or upsets you, please don't continue! Also, tiny bit of Homophobia. -

- Gavin's POV -

I fling myself into my room, locking the door behind me and I practically tear of my shirt, as if it would help. I can't stop the pure panic that had taken over my body moments ago and it wasn't going to stop anytime soon. The feeling of my lower back being touched sent my head into a spiral of horrible memories that I couldn't pull myself away from. I reach around, grabbing the lower part of my back and scratch as hard as I can, trying to get the feeling off my skin. I tear and tear and tear until my back goes numb, ripping and tugging at the skin there.

My breathing hadn't calmed down, my throat closing up and making it nearly impossible to catch my breath, only making me more light-headed. I close my eyes, trying to gasp in some breaths, forgetting that that was the complete opposite of what I'm supposed to do in these moments. I move my hands away from my back, the numbess turning into a horrible stinging sensation as I look at my hands, blood covering the tips of my fingers and sticking under my nails.

My eyes water as I sink to the floor, not actually seeing the room around me, it was as if I wasn't even there anymore.

Hands, so many hands, grabbing and touching the parts of me that I never wanted touched. Holding my wrists and hips in place as he does what he wants to me. Pain, unbarable pain in places I've never experienced before. I struggle, tugging myself as hard as I can to get away from the android but who the fuck could ever escape an android?

His hands grip me tighter and tighter, so tight that I thought he was going to snap my damn wrists as he forces himself into me. I didn't even realise that androids felt pleasure... But now that I think of it, maybe they don't.

The feeling doesn't cease, his hands travelling all over my body, making me tense up further as I find myself curling up on the floor, trying to force some air into my lungs that burned everytime I tried. I can't stop the shivers and twitches that take over my body, forcing me to curl up tighter and tighter until it ached to move in on myself anymore.

"Gavin, open the door, I'm sorry... I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

But he did. He wanted my discomfort, my pain, my horrified reactions. It fueled him, pushed him to keep going even though I was putting up the best fight I could against him, though I knew my efforts were useless. I couldn't stop him, I gave up, I couldn't fight him anymore. That was it, I had to let him do what he wanted after so long of fighting, I gave up.

"I'll leave your coffee outside the door for you."

[F/N] voice drags me out of those thoughts a tiny bit, making me peek out from under my arms, looking at the door and trying to respond to him but my throat was still tight and hoarse. I wanted to tell him to fuck off, to take me home and leave me there but once again, I just couldn't say such things to that man. I don't know why and I don't want to know why. I manage to get a few breaths into me, them being shaky as they leave my lips. Eyes closed, I let my head fall against the door, forcing those memories away - they never leave but it was worth a try.

After what felt like hours later, I sit up, everywhere aching and still trembling a little, my muscles twitch a little from being stuck in the same tense position for so long. My back screams at me for what I did, telling me that I fucked up once more, that I panicked so much over something that I've been told really isn't that big of a deal.

He wasn't even human, Gavin, get over it. You're a man, you can handle it.

No, no I can't. I can't handle it, not anymore. I glace at my bag, tugging it towards me and opening the small zip pocket on the inside, it help a few toiletry items and a small bag at the bottm, which was what I was looking for. I carefully pull it out, gripping it and its contents in my hand. It had packets of painkillers and an old swtichblade. See, being a Detective, no one would be suspicious after finding a blade like that in your bag but I knew if [F/N] had found it, he would have taken it, for obvious reasons.