Cap's kid

Bad Days

WARNING THIS GOES OVER SOME SERIOUS STUFF SUCH AS DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY.

Just Cap's POV

I hear someone sniffling, I walk around the corner to see my daughter. I kneel down and put my hand on her head. She looks up and automatically wipes her tears away.
"What's wrong?"
She shrugs and curls herself tighter. I forgot that she can have days like this. She was a soldier with PTSD and human.
"Come here."
She falls against me and hugs me.
"What caused this, a memory?"
She nods. I hug her. She starts sobbing and I pick her up.
          "Mew, I think we need to get you some help."
          She nods.
         "Talk to me sweetheart."
         "I can't do this anymore dad."
         "Do what?"
         "Pretend to be ok. Pretend that I'm always happy. Whenever I talk I have to rehearse it all in my head and I feel like throwing up."
         "Ok how about we try to get you some professional help?"
         It hurt to say, I wanted to be able to fix everything for her. But I can't and it hurts to think about it.
All I can do now though is just cradle my baby in my arms and comfort her as she cries.
         —Time Skip—
        I wait outside the doctor's office while
Mew talks to her. I'd been waiting for about an hour. She walks out.
        "Hey baby, how'd it go... you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."
"Went good. I think."
The doctor comes out and I recognize her as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. Probably best actually. I'd probably be arrested for half the stuff Mew has been involved in.
"Captain may I talk to you for a minute?"
I nod and go to talk to the doctor.
"What is it?"
"She's very socially anxious, suffering from PTSD, and is I believe stir crazy. I've seen this exact thing before."
       "You have?"
       "Yeah, in you, just before you joined the Avengers."
       "So your saying I should let my daughter work in the field."
       "It's what she's used to. It helped you."
"No. I got a family that's what helped."
"Ever think maybe Mew's team was her family."
I groan.
"How is fieldwork gonna help her then?"
"She's in need of an outlet and she says it helps her with any anxiety problems."
I just blink.
      "How?"
       "Well, you could retire. She says she's
anxious whenever you're gone and would rather fight with you than be home worried about you. Or she might be trying to right all of her wrongs. Or... most likely a bit of both."
      My heart stops and hurts for my daughter. I need her to be ok. But her in danger is something I don't think I can handle.
"I'll think about it."
"She's fifteen Captain. Give her some leeway."
Holy... was she really fifteen. Her file said something different. But you met her mother fifteen years ago dumbass.
"But I'm also not saying she should work fieldwork, maybe just mission control or even a small case."
I nod and walk out to take my daughter home.
—At HQ—
I give Mew a hug. It's all I can think of.
       "I'm sorry I- I didn't know how to tell you or talk to you."
       I shush her.
       "How about we go get some ice cream or something just you and I? Then we talk everything out."
       "In public?"
        I nod. "If that's what you want. Or we could stay in if that would be better for you?"
We had decided to be careful to keep her out of the public eye. She could be put in danger. I mean I can't even imagine what bad guys would do if they found out I had a kid. I shudder at the thought.
     "How about we get some fast food and ice cream and eat it here?"
     "Absolutely, what flavor you want?"
     "Neapolitan. It's by far the best."
     "I'll show you rocky road and birthday cake are the best but whatever your little heart desires."
      She beams at me.
—— Time Skip ——
"So," I say putting down my spoon for my ice cream. "I heard you get anxious when I'm gone."
     She nods.
     "Do you want to tell me why?"
     She pauses and moves her spoon around in her bowl. Then she looks up at me, then back down at her bowl then she puts the bowl down.
     "Mew?"
     "Because I get scared. Ok dad. Because I know that there's a chance that one day you could never come back! No matter what promises you make me, no matter how much you wish, no matter how hard you fight. There is always a chance and I- I..." She takes a deep breath. "I don't know if I could handle losing you."
I put my ice cream down and face her. She's twiddling her thumbs.
"I'm sorry dad."
I place her hands in mine.
"Sweetie... sweetie, don't apologize. No, you have every right to feel this way. It's ok to worry about someone you love."
"I need you to come back dad and I'm scared you'll not be able to do that one day."
"I'll be careful sweetie."
"I've heard that one before and yet you always come back bloody and beaten."
"I- Mew- I'm sorry."
She stands up and starts stalking away. I try to grab her hand but she yanks it away and continues to her room.
     ——
     I decided to give Mew time to cool off since she seemed so angry. This also gave me time to think. I came up with an idea.
I walk up to Mew's door and knock.
"Mew, sweetie, can I come in?"
     She doesn't answer so I crack the door open.  The red haired boy, Archer I think his name is, is sitting on Mew's bed. He's rubbing her back and whispering to her.
     I open the door fully and draw attention from the pair.
    "Mew can I talk to you please?"
    Mew sits up and turns around.
    "Do you want me to stay," Archer asks.
   "Nah, I'm good. Thank you though." She smiles sweetly at him.
    "Alright, you know how to get me if you need me."
      She nods and he walks out of the room. I wait until he's fully out of the room to sit next to Mew.
     "So I had an idea. I talked to Tony and he's making me a stronger suit."
     "Ok and? I'm assuming there's an and."
     "I also realized that me doing this is a bit irresponsible. I can't just go running into danger now that I have you. So... I won't be going on as many high profile missions."
     "Really?"
      "But that doesn't mean I won't go on some. I am still needed for missions. But just not as many.... And you'll be on mission control."
She bolts up.
      "Really?!"
      "That does not mean that you will be fighting. But you will be able to come with us on missions to help behind all the action."
      She hugs me.
       "Thank you."
      "I will be there the entire time," I say as I pull away from the hug. "The only missions you will go on are the ones I am on."
      "Not even if Tony goes." She chuckles.
       I eye her.
      "Tony got you shot on your last mission, I'm still planning his murder."
       "Aren't you dating him?!"
       "I can multitask," I say, laughing.
       She smiles at me.
       "But I can really go on missions with you?"
       I nod. She smiles vibrantly. Then she runs out of the room, I follow her, confused. That is until I hear...
       "Uncle Bucky guess what?!"
       I look at her jumping up and down in front of Buck, he looks at her proudly as she explains. Then at me concerned but proud as well.
     "I hope you know I'm coming too Punk!"
      I laugh. He has always been such a good caregiver.
      Then a thought pops back into my head. I was dating a man who had had my daughter shot. And to make matters worse I had done it after the fact as bribery and barely got mad at him for it.
       What the hell have I been doing?