TOTGA - BOOK2 - TK

E𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐬

do you ever feel like, going home smiling? going without crying? because to taehyung's side, he never got to feel that ever since. not when he was actually home, to his brother.

today, is sunday and he tried getting up on his bed since he planned on cleaning his house, its been three days since he got to see jungkook and five days from chaeyoung's death.

he was worried for jungkook and for the kids, and you can't blame him for that, they were alone and what if jungkook is drunk? what if he was not on his own state and could hurt his kids?

"why the fuck are you thinking something like that?" ofcourse, jungkook wouldn't do that.

better be cleaning the house and get up for the day.

he started cleaning the living room after he got dressed up, the curtains have been changed for awhile into green and so on the rest of the curtain around the house.

he really can't go to groceries so he decided to contact minho for it, checked. third one is his room it was connected to a bathroom.

his house was that big, maybe three more rooms, he really didn't wish to have something but his money got him into this. he is that famous but he isn't that arrogant.

he was alone, expect when baekhyun is around weekends like this but his brother is a married man.

he clicked his tongue and instantly pile the clothes into his wardrobe, looking at his bed after that. he sighed.
when was the last time he slept with someone again?

cuddling, making love.

ofcourse he remember it as clear as pure water, it was when jungkook is around. listening to vinyls and singing the hell out of his life with taehyung.

he heaved a breath and drag his sheets to start cleaning again, there's no use on thinking about jungkook anymore. because, there's nothing to hold back, there's nothing he could turn his back again.

"jungkook is a stupid man." though he knows he isn't.

after he changed the sheets he immediately sat on his bed, looking around at his newly designed room, it wasn't really new but he just rearranged it. still something new.

thinking of doing the laundry, he was about to stand up when he kicked his one feet backwards bumping into a box underneath his bed. he frowned.

he bend over to find it and clearly when out of nowhere his  tears started to welled up his eyes, he took it in his arms. dusting it to see the box clearly.

it was the box where his past settled on. stucked on and locked on with. where everything he decided to forget was in there...

jungkook was in there.

"i forgot to throw you out, silly me." oh silly him for opening it again.

he started with a photocards, where him and jungkook's pictures are plastered with. it was when they got to go on the museum. smiling happily while looking at the lense of their camera, jungkook holding his waist to secure him in his arms.

the second photo were him taking picture of jungkook's sleeping face, its on their dorm. he started to chuckle like an idiot whilst remembering those days.

several pictures were still in the box but decided to go further, to hurt himself more.

"h-hase vante.." who the fuck-wait.
it's his sketchbook.

he started to look for it even when he knew exactly where he have to stop. Some were familiar people he recognizes before, some weren't are.

and his heart started to beat fast. "jungkook...." he stated tracing his finger on those old drawings. he questioned, is he capable of drawing till now?

could he sketch jungkook's face again?

"i dont know what to do jungkook.." and he is politely requesting for a sign. a good sign.

"should i tell you the truth k-knowing you would hate me?" he feels his salty tears rolling down his cheeks, feeling really depressed.

"or should i not.." he closes the book and looked around trying to stop his tears from flowing down.

"knowing you would hate me either way."

.•. .•. .•. .•. ♡︎ .•. .•. .•. .•.

What do you think about the so called secrets?