| The Jabberbird | THG |

Chapter 8

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living is easy with eyes closed/ misunderstanding all you see

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Peeta

I sit up fast, banging my head on the bunk above me, I ignore it, and scramble out from under the bed. I nod at Annie and she leads the way from the room, I follow her.

When I reach the corridor I lean against the cold concrete wall, my legs feel weak, like my body weight is too much for them, which is unlikely. I am thinner than I've ever been. Even in my first games, when I was lying wounded in the mud for days without food, i'm sure this much of my skeleton wasn't visible through my pale skin.

Annie keeps walking, and I make myself stand straight and follow her. She turns around after a few minutes to let me catch up, then, seeing that I'm struggling, wordlessly guides my arm around her shoulders and lets me lean on her.

I don't know how she is so strong, emotionally too, when I know she feels the same pain I do. Maybe worse, because of her previous mental condition. She's been in the hospital for longer than me because they're worried she'll be faring badly. They're worried she might break down. I guess they let her out to fetch me because she's the only one here who I don't hold a particular resentment to.

I want to ask Annie how she's doing, when she thinks she'll be out of the hospital. And whether she knows anything about Johanna's recovery, who, I don't actually like. But took multiple injuries from Brutus and Enobaria to cut that tracker out of my arm (A/N yeah I know, so do you) and did try to save Katniss, she was running to her when the arrow let loose. 

But the words stick in my throat, I can barely walk, let alone utter words, so I just keep walking and try not to put too much weight on Annie.

When we walk into command everyone is talking loudly. I see Gale next to President Coin and immediately look elsewhere, I do not need to know how healthy he is, how strong, how willing to help the cause he is while I am here. Useless and falling apart.

Someone hushes and the capitol seal appears on the TV, accompanied with the Panem anthem. I see Ceaser Flickerman on the screen, his eyes and hair the same freakish purple hue he had in the last games, and he is introducing a very special guest, and it's not until he says:

"-here she is, the one and only, Katniss Everdeen. The girl on fire!" That I step away from Annie's hand and run towards the TV, ignoring the eyes of the whole room fixed on my bony back.

The camera pans out to emit Katniss, she's wearing an orange dress, which brings up so many memories it makes tears threaten to spill from my eyes. She's smiling, but not for real, I can tell, it doesn't reach to her eyes, which are full of fear.

I touch my fingertips to the screen, to her face, and whisper quietly to myself, my voice husky and cracking:

"You're alive"

She looks nothing like the tortured, bloody girl that plagues my worst nightmares, her face is pale and powdered but not sunken. Her eyes are shining and clear, not bloodshot. And she moves her arms freely, without pain, as she speaks in reply to Ceaser's question, which I did not hear:

"Well, Beetee had wrapped it up in the wire, and had tried to use it unsuccessfully, so I assumed it was important, you know, in getting the other tributes. And I still wanted to get as far as I could to leave Peeta with less opponents to kill, so he could win, so I guess. I just, went for it. It was stupid though, I wasn't thinking straight, none of us were" She says without hesitation.