My One And Only Poison (18+)-undergoing major editing.

31

" you messed with the wrong people. " I said as I stabbed the man in the leg , the person who hit us . I had to work out my anger somehow and what better way to do that torturing people. Xav didn't know that I was down here and I wanted it to stay that way. I told dean that I was down here though. I  wanted to forget everything and apart from sex this was the only way to get my mind off things.
I stabbed the man cutting of his pinkie he screamed and begged me to stop but I couldn't cause if I did I would feel things and I didn't want to feel.
The man passed out from the pain, that's when I stopped I didn't want him to die not yet at least,  I wanted him to suffer first .
I quickly took of the cloves , I looked like a mess with blood all over me.

After I was finished taking a shower,  I headed downstairs and fixed myself something to eat. I was hurting inside and xav saw that .from when  I was discharged from the hospital a few days ago, we kept a distance between us.I knew he blamed himself for the accident and to be honest I did too. I only saw him in the night when he would come in late from work and kiss me on my forehead when he thought I was asleep. I couldn't find it in me to turn around and kiss him back. I lost my baby you have to try to understand the pain I was going through and torturing the person really responsible kind of helped.

After I was finished , I decided to watch some tv. I was watching lucifer season 2 when I heard xav come in . It sounded as if he was drunk. "hi baby girl. " He slurred as he took off his jacket and kissed me in the cheek. He was definitely drunk, just great here I am suffering while he is out getting drunk. "you are drunk " I said as I backed away from him. "I am not drunk "he slurred. "you are drunk you asshole " I shouted. " I miss you baby girl, why won't you talk to me."he said stepping closer to me. "I can't "I said ,trying to leave I couldn't talk to him now not when he was drunk.

" please don't leave me. He said as he grabbed me by my waist and hugged me . "I...I ."I stuttered. It had  been so long since I hugged someone, it felt good. I couldn't answer his question though cause if I had the opportunity I would leave. "Let's get you into bed " I said leading him upstairs. "your hair looks pretty let down" he mumbled. "Thank you " I said as I pulled him towards our room. Finally we reached the room, I gently placed him on the bed and took of his shoes. I thought he was fast asleep until I heard him whisper
"I really care about you baby girl more than you know." I was shocked I didn't think he would ever say something like that to my face, even though he was drunk.
I looked at him , he was sleeping, he looked so peaceful, so calm.
And  at that moment I admitted to myself and him, something big something that could change everything.
" I care about you too." I said as I kissed his forehead.

I lied down beside xav has he slept , it was true I did care about him I guess I didn't want to admit it to myself. I mean I am  planning on escaping,  feelings would just get in the way. I sighed as I wrapped my arm around xav and slept.