More than it seems ~ Clace fan fiction

Chapter XV

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I was miserable.

Laying in my bed and scrolling through Tumblr for hours on end was my way of dealing with misery.

So thats exactly what I was doing.

Emma came in with a plate of cookies and looked down at me with pity. "You really need to get up, looking at Tumblr won't make your problems disappear."

I looked at her with a pissed off look.
"I feel better so it's working." I snapped, Emma mumbled and left, slamming my bedroom door.

"Also clean your room, it looks like a bomb went off!" Emma yelled through the door.

"Go away." I yelled back. My phone was dying so I put it on charge and looked around my room.

My infamous pile of stink was in the middle of my room, thats what mum called the pile of clothes I left on the floor. I saw the green dress I wore the other night to Jace's house on top of the pile, when he kissed me like he hadn't ruined my life. That retard.

Sighing, I put my Bluetooth headphones on and started putting the pile of stink in its original places. I sorted out my pencils and threw away unwanted sketches.

I must have been doing that for hours but when I looked around, my room looked the same.

"Ugh! How does Tessa keep her room clean!" I cried, flopping onto my bed.

"Clary?" I turned around and saw Tessa and Emma holding the box I had kept my love letters in.

I gave them an exasperated look. "Why do I need that?"

Tessa rolled her eyes and placed the box in front of me. "You're going through a hard time so we thought you might want to read some love letters."

"I never got any love letters." I stated.

Emma slapped the back of my head, "Ouch!" I yelled and rubbed my sore head.

"Sorry, not sorry," she smirked. "You may think you didn't get any love letters but look through this box, it may change your mind on the whole Jace situation."

I rolled my eyes but opened the box I knew so well slowly. Inside were lots of folded white pieces of paper.

I looked at my sisters in confusion. Tessa saw my confusion so she stated. "These are all the notes Jace gave you when you guys started dating."

"How did you get these?"

"Found them in your jeans, you really should learn not to put paper in the washing machine." Emma said. I rolled my eyes at her but looked at the box full of unread notes.

I opened one. And it said You look beautiful today.

I smiled, blushing. "I didn't think Jace wrote anything."

"That's cause your too oblivious to know what's going on around you!" Emma said, Tessa scolded her.

"Open more." Tessa egged. I opened another, Your presentation in Literature was great!

You should wear your hair out more often another said, I saw your painting in the school gallery, you're very talented. I read them all.

The comments were short but meaningful and filled my heart with pain that I didn't give Jace another chance.

"What am I gonna do about Jace, I ruined my relationship with him!" I cried, falling back onto my bed.

"Write him a letter." Tessa said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Why would I do that if letters are the thing that caused this mess in the first place!"

"Then don't write in the letter, just tell Jace how you feel. He obviously likes you and you like him, you deserve to be together." Emma stated, the determination in her voice was encouraging.

I jumped from my bed and shooed my sisters out. "Get out, get out. I have work to do." I slammed the door and raced to my desk, my brain full of ideas to get Jace back.

——-time-skip——-

"Score!" I screamed in delight as I threw another rough copy into my bin.

I had been trying to figure out how to tell Jace my feelings for hours by rereading my favourite romantic confession moments, rewatching romantic confession moments and going through Netflix cause I could.

"This is useless." I mumbled, staring at blank page.

I heard a knock on my door, I yelled for them to come in and when I turned around I saw dad. His short platinum hair was glistening under the light and his dark eyes were looking at me with concern. He's facial hair was longer than I remembered, he must be to busy to shave it.

"Hi dad, how can I help you." I said, invited him to sit on my bed.

"Clarissa," oh no I thought he's playing the full name card.

"Lets go for a drive, just you and me. Tessa informed me about your love life so I thought I could give you advice." I nodded, dad smiled at me and told me to meet him in the car.

———

"Why are we sitting at the very back, there are free seats everywhere?" I asked dad. We were at the soda shop and dad led me to the back of the diner to a table I hadn't sat at before.

"Your mum and I used to come here all the time after we bought the house and got married," Dad smiled at the memory, I looked at him with confusion.

"We used to sit at this table, there was a poster of Mick Jagger on the wall right here but they must have taken it down." Dad chuckled.

"Your mum would blow kiss faces at the poster and I'd pretend to be mad, she even bought a Jagger t-shirt just to tease me and she wore it everywhere. That's why I played 'The Rolling Stones' music at her funeral." He wiped his eyes, they didn't stop glistening. I smiled sadly at my dad, it was never easy for him to talk about mum but I was glad he told me this.

"Is this meant to be some life saving advice, to annoy Jace with Mick Jagger merchandise?" I giggled, lightening the mood. Dad shook his head.

"No, I know you're stressed about this relationship working out but I want you to know that you may have to have 10 boyfriends till you find the right guy. Your mum and I had already had many relationships before we met, but I forgot all of them when I was with her." I nodded, I knew he had had a few girlfriends before meeting mum, and she ended up being the one.

"But... what if I feel like I love Jace more than I've ever loved anyone?" I started, not meeting dads eyes.

Dad fiddled with his fingers. "I just want you to know that its okay to venture out a bit to find who you're into. You don't have to tell me everything but I want you to know that you can tell me anything, even if its stupid and makes no sense." Dad chuckled, I nodded with understanding.

"Thank you, I'll keep that in mind."

We bought milkshakes and talked for ages. Exchanging our favourite moments with mum and talking about which college I should go too.

We returned home at 12 am, Tessa and Emma were in bed. Well, Emma was texting Julian and Tessa was FaceTiming Will but I just told dad they were in bed (its not a lie).

"Night sweetie." Dad said, kissing my forehead gently. I told dad I love him and went to my room.

Tomorrow was school. Jace was training on the field before school. I'll confess then.