Chance With You

Chapter 10 - Amanda

Yes... no... I don't know...

I swallowed. Somehow I could hear my heart thumped wildly. Maybe Tony heard that too.

Suddenly his phone rang and we both jumped. I looked away. Tony cleared his throat and picked up the phone "hello?"

There was a girl's voice from the phone. God, what was I thinking? He is Tony Lockwood.

I stood up and put our glasses in the sink and washed it. I could hear Tony mumbles something to the phone, a few seconds later he ended the phone.

He cleared his throat and I could see his shadow came closer to me. I put the glass away and spun around. He was standing so close to me. I startled back, but there was not much gap between me and the sink.

"You okay?" He whispered.

I nodded and slid to the left so I didn't have to stand that close to him. "Um... do you want to go home?" I asked him and winced. That wasn't nice of me to ask him like that.

He looked at me deeply. "What's wrong Amy?"

"Nothing" I said a bit too fast.

He raised an eyebrow at me, I cleared my throat. "Look, Tony... I'm glad I can be your friend. But... um... I don't think I want to be your... um..." I looked away.

But he didn't say anything. He waited for me to finish my words.

"Um... fling? Rendezvous? Whatever it is..." I said my face felt so hot. Tony didn't answer me for a very long time that made me look at him.

His face was unreadable.

"Say something" I whispered.

"I..." he cleared his throat. "I don't know what to say"

"What do you mean?"

He shook his head.

Now I felt silly.  There was a big possibility that Tony never even think of me as his fling or anything. Maybe he just wanted to be my friend. Oh God. Can I die now? Embarrassing!!

"It's not what you think, Amy" he said quietly.

"What?" I said weakly.

"It's not that I don't want you. The truth is I really want you more than any girl in my life. But I don't know how, Amy... I..." he looked away, like he was afraid.

"What do you mean, Tony?"

He grabbed my hand and pulled me to sit down at the stool. He sat next to me. "Look, Amy. I never have a serious girlfriend. You know my...um..."

"Sex life?" I provided him.

"Um... yeah you could say that. I was... God I don't know how to explain to you without making you fly away from me" he mumbled.

I chuckled. His head snapped at me. His eyes looked wary.

"It's okay Tony. Just tell me" I said.

He exhaled and held my hand. "To make sure you're not going to run away from me" he linked our hands.

I smiled at him.

"I found fame at the age of 19, Amy. Girls flaunt themselves to me. And I... I thought that I could enjoy my life without being... um...tied to a girl" he says warily.

"Okay" I said. I understood what he meant. And it was normal for him to think like that. I mean... I could understand his point.

"And... it went too far I think. Because... like you know... everyone is looking at me based on my sex life now. I love and enjoy sex. But I just realized that, I did that because I haven't find a great girl that I want to tie myself with"