Chance With You

Chapter 55 - Amanda

Elize comes to my room and exhales. I'm still crying on my bed.

"He said he'll be back tomorrow afternoon if he doesn't hear anything for you in the morning. Tomorrow is Saturday, you can't say you have to go to work in the morning" Elize says.

I wipe my tears, but somehow my eyes keep producing the tears.

Elize sits in front of me and gives me a napkin. "Will you tell me what happened?" She asks me desperately.

After the proposal, I came back home. On the way back I called Elize to come here, because I know once Tony regains his composure he will come here to find me. I can't face him. I need someone who can help me to face Tony.

So here is Elize in my apartment.

I shake my head. How can I tell Elize about the disease? I'm too afraid to talk about it. I try my best to think I don't have this disease. After all, the possibility is 50:50.

I do everything normally. No more fall down, slip or whatever with my muscle in these weeks. But.. when I realized I forgot Tony's birthday, I felt like... just maybe the disease attacks my brain and memory.

Dr. Jacobson asked me to come to his clinic so he can check on me thoroughly. But the best solution is to have my blood tested. So they can be sure that I have it or not.

But... call me a coward. I'm afraid to see the result. What if I have the disease. It will attack me in my 30s or 40s. What should I do? What will I do? What will happen?

"Amy" Elize caresses my hand. I look up at her. Her eyes worried. "Are you okay? You look so pale" she says.

"I don't know" I whisper.

"I'll bring you water" she says and leaves me.

I bite my lip so hard to prevent me from crying until it's bleeding. God, what should I do?

Elize comes back "Jesus Amy!" She runs to me and takes another napkin. Wipes my mouth. "What are you doing?" She says.

I look at her. This will be my future if I have Huntington disease. I will need someone to take care of me for the rest of my life.

I jerk back and look at Elize in horror.

"Amy?" She asks warily.

I look away "I'm sorry Elize. Can you leave me alone?"

She frowns but in the end she nods. "Call me if you need me"

I nod. Elize kisses my cheek and leaves.

I lean to the head-bed. My brain keeps imagining what will happen to me if I have this disease. I cry again and again until the sleep claims me.

***

I put all the courage I have to come back to Tony's place in the morning. He deserves better from me. And.. it's his birthday.

I bought a cake for him. At least we can celebrate his birthday together.. and what? I don't know. I don't even want to think about that.

The elevator brings me to his penthouse. I come in and look around. Tony isn't here. I put the cake on the coffee table and walk to the room.

"Tony" I say softly, opening the door.

The room is dark. I need a few seconds to adjust my eyes. There are some bottles of whiskey. Most of it empty in the table. I look at the bed. Tony is sleeping. He is still wearing last night clothes, he doesn't even bother to take off his shoes. One foot dangling from the bed.