Shadows in the Rain | FILIPINO | Completed

- Chapter 12 -

"Détente, por favor (Stop it, please). You don't wanna do this," Cliff whispered to me.

I suddenly felt like crying. I prayed that he would reach for me and let me bury my face in his chest at that moment. But he just kept staring at me, looking right into my hurting soul.

I was about to reach out to him but I paused nang magsimulang umiyak si Katherine. Nang mapaharap sa kanya si Cliff ay isinubsob niya ang kanyang mukha sa dibdib ng lalaki at humikbi na parang bata. Walang nagawa si Cliff kundi haplusin ang buhok at likod niya to comfort her.

I scoffed at them.

"Fine! Magsama kayo," I said then turned and hurriedly walked away.

Nang makalabas sa covered court at makarating sa hallway ng sports building ay agad kong tinungo ang ladies' room. Dumiretso ako sa lababo at naghilamos gamit ang malamig na tubig sa gripo.

And then I stared at myself in the mirror hanggang sa mahimasmasan ako. Pero napailing na lang ako dahil tila ayaw na akong lubayan ng magkahalong galit at hinanakit na nararamdaman ko.

Paglabas ko sa ladies' room ay halos mapalundag ako sa gulat nang may biglang humawak sa siko ko. Agad akong pumiksi at inis na hinarap ang taong iyon.

"Fiona." It was Cliff. Sinundan pala ako ng hinayupak na 'to.

"Huwag mo 'kong hawakan." Umatras ako nang akmang hahawakan niya ang kamay ko.

He stared at me for a second and then said, "What you did back there was wrong—"

"Kath started it! And what? So okay lang 'yong ginawa niya at ako lang ang mali?!" I retorted.

He heaved a sigh and spoke again.

"Mali rin 'yong ginawa ni Kath. But the harsh things you said to her... Hindi mo na dapat—"

I stopped the rest of what he was going to say.

"Oo na, ako na ang mali! Kasalanan ko na lahat! Hindi ko dapat ginawa 'yon. Hindi ko dapat sinabi 'yon. Hindi na dapat ako pumatol. Ano pa?! Hindi na rin dapat ako nagpakita sa inyo, 'di ba? Panggulo lang kasi ako, eh! Magsama kayo ni Kath! Pareho na kayong allergic sa presence ko!"

"That's... That's not what I want," he replied, his voice pained and low.

"Totoo naman, 'di ba?! At tutal iniiwisan mo na rin naman ako, lubos-lubusin na natin," I said.

Tinitigan niya ako for seconds bago siya napailing at nagsalita, "Please, let's just talk again when you're calmer."

"No, I'm fine. Let's get this over with para wala nang ma-stress at wala nang ibang madamay. I'll stay out of your way and you'll stay out of mine. No more attachments. No hard feelings. Magsama kayo ni Kath o kung sino man ang gusto mong isama. I don't care!"

I turned and walked away from him. Pero nahinto rin ako on my tracks when he spoke again. A bit louder this time. There was sadness in his words.

"Oh, come on! Why are you so hard to please? Ano pa ba ang hindi ko nagawa to make you happy? Why are you taking this against me? Fiona... Please, love, don't make decisions when you're mad."

Pumiyok ang boses niya. I felt my heart slowly shattering when I realized that he was crying. Tuluyan na ring bumagsak ang mga luha na kanina pa namumuo sa mga mata ko.