The Jock & I

T e n

You know that feeling that you get after you've just ridden a huge roller coaster containing flips and twists, after eating carnival foods of all kinds?

Your head spins in all different directions, and as soon as you step off the ride, the world in front of you seems to fade in and out of black and white and the contents of your stomach jumble together and it feels like tug o' war is going on inside your intestines.

That's how I felt right now in this moment, only I was not getting off of a breath-taking roller coaster, that most people worship as kids, my ride, was just getting started and that ride, was my life.

It's honestly crazy to think that maybe in this life, I could actually be a somebody.

I've been a nobody nearly since I was born, and actually meaning the world to somebody, was something I was accustomed to handling.

I stared at him for awhile, admiring his soft olived skin that glowed even when there was no ray of light, and his olive green eyes that seemed to be illusions that sucked me in and made me forget the rest of the world.

Because, what do you really say to the person that just changed your life forever?

There's no words for that in the dictionary, or in any POP teen advice magazine.

If I was normally bad at making conversation, now I was definitely speechless.

"Ash say something."

Ashton suddenly spoke.

It had just now occured to me that we were sitting on the bathroom floor, and I hadn't really took the time to notice before.

"Sorry I'm just confused is all."

I finally gained the courage to speak.

"About what?"

Ashton questioned in a soft tone not removing his hand from my cheek, until I stood up and naturally swatted it away.

Ashton soon followed suit and stood up as well.

"I'm confused on why you picked me."

I shyly admitted.

"There's so much more to you then just a shy advid book worm Ash, and if you don't see that it's a shame."

Ashton retorted.

"I like you Ashton, I really do, but I just feel like this can never work."

I admitted.

"It won't work if you don't even give it a chance and try."

Ashton pointed out.

"I've never even had a boyfriend before."

I soon confessed, regretting it majorly.

"I can't even believe I just told you that."

I added, throwing my hands over my eyes sheilding them from the embarassment that is my life.

Ashton brought his hands up to my face and removed my hands by their wrists so he was now staring into my eyes and holding my wrists at my waist.

"I find that hard to believe."

Ashton announced.

"What's so unbelieveable about it, look at me."

I explained, pouting with humiliation.

"If people don't see how amazing you are, then that's their loss."

Ashton reassured me, not poking fun at the fact that I was 17 years of age and boyfriendless.

"You only just met me. How could you possibly think i'm amazing."

I added.

"Ashley, I've dated many girls,"

Ashton began softly.

Wait to not make me feel pretty shitty for having had no boyfriends or anything.

"I've met so many different personalitites, and yet different, they've all turned out to be the same. I've never met anyone quite like you before."

Ashton stated.

"I'm obviously extremley flattered, and I feel the same way towards you but even though I've never really had any experience, I'm pretty sure this is not the way it's supposed to go."

I replied.

"You know nothing about me besides that i'm from Toronto, and I live in this new apartment having just moved in."

I added.

"Well then tell me about yourself. What's your favorite color?"

Ashton questioned.

"What? No, this is stupid, you're never gonna learn anything about me from knowing my favorite color."

I protested.

"Sure I can. I know that my favorite color is Blue, and you wanna know why?"

Ashton asked narrowing his eyes into thin slits.

"Because it's a clichè favorite boys color that almost every boy likes."

I responded rolling my eyes, hands still in the possession of Ashton, although I really wished he would release them now.

"No, see that's where you're wrong. My favorite color is blue because my grandpa got me this blue Brooklyn Dodgers baseball Jersey when I was a little kid, and I used to wear that thing everyday for months after he passed away, and it's one of the only things I have to remeber him by."

Ashton spoke.

I loved this about him.

There's was always a story.

Always a reasoning behind everything he said, and everything he did, and although I would never admit it, I loved finding out all the boring little things about him, because to me they weren't boring.

"Blue."

I stated abruptly.

"What?"

Ashton questioned.

"Blue, my favorite color is blue."

I added.

"Because?"

Ashton questioned.

"Because it's a very unclichè girl's color. Most boring girls would pick pink. So I choose blue."

I responded.

"This is what I mean."

Ashton laughed.

"What?"

I questioned.

"This. Your humor for things. Even when you don't try and act funny, you're hilarious to me."

Ashton informed me.

"Well, i've heard alot of things about myself, some flattering I must say, but this is definitley news to me. Ha. Who knew Ashley Powers the comedian."

I laughed, but before I could finish laughing Ashton crashed his lips into mine wrapping his hands around my waist and sending my wrists to the back of his neck.

I felt that tug o' war feeling in my stomach, only this time, the rope was being pulled harder, and harder, and sending chills up my spine with every movement of our lips.

The light-headed feeling had returned also, only this time I felt like the air had literally been sucked out of my lungs, and I could barely breathe.

The feeling was gratifying.

Every inch of my body felt the kiss.

In that moment, Ashton and I were frozen in time, and it was just the two of us.

And then, I woke up.