With A Girl Like Me

CHAPTER : 8 - YOU'RE THE WORST COCKBLOCKER EVER!

Chapter : 8 - You're The Worst Cockblocker Ever!

He was silent all of a sudden. He didn't speak for a while and close his eyes. He turned his back to me and sighed. And I grabbed his arm and burst out laughing. He shook my head and jerked his arm away. I tightened the grip and turned to face him.

"You're not gonna cry now are you Nonu?" I joked but his expression remained hard and stern.

"Listen Annu I'm actually sorry. I really am sorry! I didn't know what else to do, you always seem to be distant and your mood swings are kinda difficult to understand. But I didn't want to leave you alone. Atleast this time, again! I try to be funny and to make you laugh and I screw up and I don't know and I hurt you, unintentionally and this is driving me crazy." He said with his words running faster and I could clearly say he was nervous.

"But, if you don't want me around I will try to be away. I will not disturb you, I'll just stay away and not interfere. Just say it and I'll never bother you again." His voice was desperate and his heart was racing.

I quickly opened my mouth to speak but as was speechless too but his words and it was difficult as always to say something when our eyes are locked like this.

Yes, Aryan did irritate me he always have. He does things unnecessarily and annoys me. He's childish and lame sometimes.
This grown up guy now makes everything awkward, his touch, smell, smile, everything about his handsome face is quite disturbing but there's still something about him that soothes me.

I don't know why, but the very thought of him not being around me like he's been for a past few days seems difficult. It makes me restless at the thought of not listening to his endless blabber and some way I'm now used to his annoying self.

Maybe I'm not ready to lose him again. I don't know if I started forgiving him for everything, but something is changed now.

Wait, No. No. No. No. No. No. I can't start to feel about him the same way I did years ago. I was foolish at that point of time and I know it's all a lie now. And can't feel those stupid things right now, they're lies right? I was just silly kid back then. But what he said when I told him, it was bad. It did hurt. That's what he thinks of me. That's it.

And Annu, no matter what you do, how much you try to move on, you can't get past what happened after that. You can't forget in what situation he left you.

My heart and my subconscious battled inside my head. I couldn't clearly think what to say. Some part of me trusts him when it shouldn't. I suddenly remember the pain, My bestfriend first broke my heart, made fun of me. Then betrayed me and left me when I needed him the most. That's the truth.

But I don't know maybe he's changed now, maybe he realised. I don't know if all of this is a show or anything but something says me to believe him.

I am in a hard phase. I'm not ready to forgive him and even not ready to lose him.
I hate him so bad but still can't let him stay away from me.

My mind is messed and I gulp and close my eyes pushing all the thoughts deep inside my head and shutting them there.

Annu stop thinking about it now. Act cool. You know you can't face your thoughts.

I open my eyes and find his, desperately searching my eyes. I hold his arm and squeeze it.

"Aryan... just calm down. Let's not talk about it right now." I say to him. He seems confused but nods not wanting to fight with me again.

"Y-Yeah" he says and we start walking again.

The silence is very painful and I look around to bring back the usual Aryan again. Even if he's annoying as hell atleast I know how to handle him. This intimidating Aryan is new to me, something he became later on.