Ok similar to my last story this is a fanfic about Gon and Killua. I don't feel comfortable writing about them at the age they are now so I'm aging them up so they will be 16. I have cute pictures to go with the story and some of them they don't loo...
Gon: *sits up* Killua I should have died so why didn't I?
Me: *frowns* Gon what the hell are you saying?! Did you want to die?!
Gon: Well-
He looks down tears flowing down his face. I relaxed my body without saying anything. Did he want to die? But why?
Gon: I'm the reason-
Me: You're not the reason for anything. Stop blaming yourself!
Gon: But that's all you do! You take the blame for everything!
He was right. I take the blame for everything. I couldn't argue that. But I only did it to make him feel better.
Gon: You blame yourself for not protecting me, you blame yourself for me almost dying. You blame yourself for-
Me: I get it ok! So what if I blame myself for a lot of things. It's true isn't it? The only reason that Illumi came here was because I said I wasn't going to kill you ok!
He doesn't look up or say anything. I'm a horrible boyfriend.
Me: I'm a horrible boyfriend and I'm sorry
Gon: *looks up at me* What? No your not
Me: Yes I am!
Gon: Killua
Me: No Gon you don't understand, I'm a horrible person I can't do anything right!
Gon looks away from me. Shit he's mad at me.
Me: Maybe your life would be better withou-
Gon: Shut up, just shut up!
Me: *frowns*
Gon: Yeah maybe I did want to die back there but the more I think about it the more I don't understand why I wanted to. I knew if I fought back that Hisoka would have killed me. The whole time I thought of you and what would've happened if I had died-
Me: Stop saying that you want to die already!
A tear falls down my face.
Me: You don't mean it ok! You're just saying that because you almost died ok
Gon: Killua I-
Me: No!
Gon: What's your problem? Why are you freaking out?
Me: Why am I freaking out?! Really? You said you wanted to die-
Gon: Yeah I know.. But-
Me: But what? Like I said if you had never met me you wouldn't be where you are right now! You wouldn't have had to go through everything that you have
Gon: Your right
I look up surprised.
Gon: I wouldn't be where I am right now, I would be a whole different person.
Me: ..
Gon: If I hadn't met you I wouldn't have grown as a person.
Me: Yeah but if we hadn't met-
Gon: Who cares Killua, you can't change the past
Me: Whatever
Gon: *takes deep breath*
Me: Hey if you uh wake up tomorrow and I'm not here um just know-
Gon: Your leaving? *looks a me with a worried face*
Me: N- no *looks away*
Gon: Please don't leave me again
That sentence made my heart sink. When he said that his voice sounded like he was going to cry again. I ball up my fists trying not to cry. Damn it. He doesn't need me hurting him anymore, if I wasn't in his life he would be much happier. He wouldn't have to worry about me or worry about anything.
Gon: *hugs me* Please
I sat there looking at the wall in front of me while Gon hugged me. Was I making the right choice?
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Gon: Killua *pulls away and looks at me* You won't-
He looks at me with fear in his eyes.
Gon: Y- your gonna leave aren't you?
He said that as his voice cracked.
Me: *looks down*
Gon: Why?
Me: I- *looks up at him*
I stopped talking when I looked up at him. He was crying but he was scared. Why?
Gon: *shakes head no* No no, you can't leave
Me: What other choice do I have Gon?
Gon: Stay here! Why would you leave!?
Me: All I'm doing is causing you pain! Look at you! You're crying over me
Gon: Because I care about you Killua I don't want to lose you again
I said nothing. I knew I wasn't making the right decision. I should stay here with Gon but what if my father finds out that we're alive? What would happen then?
