~ THIS BOOK IS OUTDATED! I will be making a new one hopefully soon, going through this one is cringe-inducing for me so I want to have a space for new random thoughts and opinions. I won't unpublish this one in case someone out there actually wants...
I've waited a while to address this, but it was just too good to not make a chapter on this.
Naydra and I have two really good friends. I'll call them Friend A and Friend B for now. We do all kinds of stuff together, but our favorite has always been MarioKart 8. Something about the environment we play together in is just amazing.
However, that doesn't mean we play normally - by ANY stretch of the imagination.
Since the beginning, we've been discussing random stuff during races, like Goldfish crackers, human rights, and competitive card games that really shouldn't be competitive. I remember we spent at least ten minutes trying to remember if Shy Guy has hands or not, then I spent an additional five wheezing with laughter after deciding he had - and I quote - "stubby things" instead of hands.
But even we get tired of racing normally. Instead of going through the tracks in a decent fashion, we've tried everything from holding down the 1 button and using our rearview camera to navigate the course backwards...to trying to play through a course with our eyes closed.
Unfortunately, every time we've tried to do it with our eyes closed, our server mysteriously crashes. We've tried it 5 times so far, and it's consistently happened. Rude. >:(
Our most recent playtime with them was over the phone, as getting together in-person isn't the best idea right now. We were playing in Battle Mode, when we noticed something weird about Yoshi Valley. Or, rather, the big sign outside the track.
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Here's how the conversation went:
Me: Wait... 'Wild Yoshi Sanctuary'? What makes certain Yoshis wild and others tame? Is there a difference? Friend A: The wild ones are the ones Mario hasn't ridden.
Me: Ok, so...in order to have a voice in government, you have to be dumped off a cliff by a fat plumber?
Naydra and Friend B: *literally in tears*
That conversation spawned an entire discussion about Mushroom Kingdom politics.
Who gets a voice and who doesn't?
How does Princess Peach rule? Is she the sole person making decisions, does she have a committee to take over when she inevitably gets kidnapped, or does it work a different way?
How does Bowser factor in? He's the Koopa King, but technically lives in the same kingdom. So...does he get any voice in government?
Do his minions receive the same treatment?
Are Dry Bones treated any differently, as they are skeleton versions of Koopa Troopas?
Since Bowser technically lives in the Mushroom Kingdom, does that mean he has to pay taxes? Do his minions have to do the same? Does he evade paying taxes like Yoshi?
Why are we still talking about this like it makes sense?
Yeah, we were getting a little existential there. But seriously, how does it all work?
I WANNA KNOW NINTENDO
Props to you if you actually read all that! Have a virtual cupcake! *gives cupcake*
