The Urge to Kill

6

I guess I'll postpone operation "ask Lizzy if she's seen my dog that I've lost except I'll only be asking her because it's a part of my plan to strike up some more conversation", haha. To be quite honest with you, I feel kinda bad. Bad that I'm being so friendly to her. Oh well, she may be not suited for me anyways. She might have a partner, or parents, or someone that would be completely distraught if she were to... unexpectedly die. And remember, a key part of this is that I don't want to impact the living peoples' lives. That would defeat the purpose in a way. I just want to kill someone, get over it, and leave, leaving no one knowing it was me.

I should act soon. I should find out more about this Elizabeth "Lizzy" Milton. If she talks about me to someone she knows, and then dies, that could seriously put me in a risky spot, and make me seem very suspicious. Although my first sight of her was a week prior to speaking to her, and I'm saying I wanted to hurry, I waited about five-ish more days to avoid suspicion. You need to understand that I don't wanna get caught. I don't wanna seem odd and out of place. I need to seem casual, rather than stalker-ish, then she might get suspicious of my intentions too! To be quite honest with you, I just wanted to get this job over and done with, and continue with my regular life. Sure, maybe I'll try this again, but for now, and definitely in the moment, I was sure I wasn't going to do this again for quite some time. Besides, it was taking time away from my studies, haha.

I returned home, cup of iced tea in hand, and folder of sheet music resting on my lap. I read though the piece I decided on, but I couldn't keep track of what I was reading.  Another issue I was facing. I couldn't concentrate. I was seriously just debating on killing Elizabeth right then and there, but, that wouldn't have been very wise of me, wouldn't it? So, I placed my tea on the tea table and closed the folder, throwing myself backwards onto the couch, lying down on my back. I remember giving out a loud sigh. I knew I had to act soon. Not only did I have the camera possibly being fixed in my way, but the mental and emotional toll this whole ordeal was giving me was frankly annoying. 'Course, not many people would be able to cope with the "epiphany" I had, I mean, was barely making it through my days. This was a serious weight I had on my shoulders. I couldn't relax. I felt like I couldn't breath. I needed to get this off my chest.

The thing is, I'm passionate about a lot of things. Music, cooking, and recently, poetry! I'm not sure why, but I've been very inspired to write. Along with writing poems, I also like writing and playing music, and cooking. However, with this whole mission I'm on, I've been too distracted to participate in a lot of my hobbies. The will to kill someone not only became my hobbie, but it became my only hobbie. I spent hours and hours feeling like I was going crazy in my own head, while trying to complete even the most simple of activities. It made me think, maybe I am a crazy kind of killer? I always dismissed the thought. I needed to concentrate on my task at hand, and that was to find out more about Elizabeth.

I was ideally going to wait another week 'til I payed another visit to Lizzy, but by the time the fifth day of waiting rolled around, I was at my wits end. I felt like ripping my hair out. I never knew I felt so invested in this. My mind was shouting so loud in my head. My thoughts were just an endless cacophony of meaningless noise. I thought of what I was going to do as a hobby, rather than my main interest and goal in life. Haha. Guess people priorities change as they progress though life, huh. It was weird, in a way. I wasn't even sure at that moment in time if she was the one to choose, yet I felt so much of these crazy emotions. It's was so weird, I didn't get it, and I still don't get it, haha. So, I put on my coat, and headed to the apartments.
I decided it was best to act out operation "ask Lizzy if she's seen my dog that I've lost except I'll only be asking her because it's a part of my plan to strike up some more conversation" that day, for my sake, and for the sake of the plan.

(820 words)