Strings of Regret

Chapter 12

Nakatunganga lang ako at blangkong nakatingin sa kawalan habang paulit-ulit na binabalikan ang nangyari kanina.

Stop giving me mixed signals!

What does he mean by that? Did I say something wrong? I was just being my usual self. Nagsasabi lang naman ako ng totoo. Ba't nagalit yun bigla? I can't understand him and I have no idea about the 'mixed signals' thing he is talking about.

Your confusing me!

At bakit? Saang banda ko ba siya nilito? Anong bang nakakalito sa pagsabi ng totoo na hinintay ko siya sa hapong iyon? Wait... mixed signals.. confusion.. Is it because..? Oh shut it Abrianna! We are not going there! Let's just stop assuming. Pagod na akong umasa.

Then why don't you ask him directly? A voice in my head whispered.

I have been thinking about that as well but aside from I'm a coward to confront him and all, I'm also scared of being rejected. Paano kung wala lang naman pala sa kanya ang lahat? What if I'm just creating a happy bubble inside my head when in reality its all just a dream? What if everything will change and be awkward between the both of us if I confront him about it? I won't risk it. I would rather have him with me than our friendship starts drifting away again. I don't want to suffer that same pain again. And I'm contented with what I have with him right now and that's friendship.

Naputol ang aking pag-iisip ng may marinig akong pumito.

"Anong ginagawa mo diyan?! Nagsisimula na ang program!" umalingawngaw ang malakas na boses ni manong guard sa hallway.

I slowly stood up on my seat and grabbed my bag. "Sorry po. Bababa na po ako." I gave him a sheepish smile before dashing off the hallway and went down the staircase.

Naabutan kong nagsisimula na nga talaga ang program. The emcees where introducing the following activities today. Ang daming estudyante sa quadrangle kaya natagalan akong hanapin sina Cassi.

All we did was listen to a few performance of our schoolmates. May senior high students na nagperform. They were all boys and like a real boyband may dala pa talaga silang mga musical instruments like drums, electric guitars and stuff.

The next performance was my batch mate. Katherine had a very good voice and the band was great so I somehow enjoyed the program.

Bumalik lang ang nangyari kanina sa library ng mag lunch time na. Kumuha kami ng pagkain sa catering service at doon kumain sa classroom dahil puno ng mga estudyante ang cafeteria. They didn't open the gate kasi baka may ibang students na hindi na babalik mamayang hapon at doon nalang sa computer cafe magkukumpulan.

"Doon nalang tayo sa classroom niyo Bri," si Cassi habang naglalakad kami sa hallway papunta sa Gr 10 department.

We sat near the window for fresh air while eating. We started unwrapping the utensils and were about to eat when someone barged in and made their way to where we are seated.

"Hinihingi namin ang inyong permiso na makisabay kumain mga binibini," madramang sambit ni Kean. JL was behind him as well. My gaze automatically searched for Reese.

I saw him standing behind JL and fixing the position of the food he is holding. The strap of his black leather backpack was hanging loosely on his shoulders, adding a bad boy-ish vibe on his posture.

I averted my gaze when he was about to lift his head up. Gosh Abrianna! Calm yourself! What happened to being contented? Parang nilunok mo lang mga sinasabi mo ah? Ano? Nasa bituka na ba?

I was too preoccupied of my thoughts that I only noticed my surroundings when JL sat beside the empty chair next to Sab. Naupo na rin si Kean sa tabi ni Cassi at nagsimulang kumain. I swallowed hard and fought the urge to turn and look at Reese. For sure sa tabi ko siya uupo, unless gusto niyang mag-isa. I shrugged the thought off and acted normal.