Strings of Regret

Chapter 24

Reese:

Nasa tapat na ako ng bahay niyo.

Ako:

Bababa na ako.

Wearing a nude off shoulder dress that hugged my body ending inches below my knees, I sauntered my way downstairs. My beige sandals clicking on the tiled floor. Reese and I decided to attend the afternoon mass today.

Umalis sina mama at papa patungong syudad kaninang umaga para asikasuhin ang dokumentong kailangang ipasa ni mama at sinamahan siya ni Papa. Nandoon rin si Renan kina lola kaya ako lang ang naiwan dito sa bahay.

I locked the door and went out of the gate. Reese is sitting on his motorcycle with his left foot on the ground. Bahagya siyang nakaduko sa cellphone niya at hindi ako napansin na papalapit. I got the chance to examine his appearance. He looked handsome wearing a clean white shirt underneath his denim jacket and a faded jeans paired with a white Nike shoes. His hair was pushed back and there were strands of hair falling on his forehead that adds more bad boy-ish aura in him plus his bronze skin.

  "Let's go?"

He slightly flinched in surprise when he heard me spoke. Ibinaba niya at ibinulsa ang cellphone pagkatapos ay pinsadahan ako ng tingin mula ulo hanggang paa. I saw how his lips agaped as he roamed his eyes from my face down to my body.

  "Ang ganda mo," he breathed.

I bit my lower lip and tried to stifle a smile. Kinikilig ako! It was a simple compliment from him but the gentleness and fondness laced on his voice gave it all away. 

  "You look good yourself," I gave him a small smile.

He started the engine and got ready. He offered his hand for me as I tried to sit adjacent to his sitting position since I'm wearing a dress.

  "Hold on tight," he countered.

I snaked my right arm on his torso when I felt him stiffen for a moment. Ilang sandali lamang bago siya nakabawi at pinaharurot ang motor paalis.

We grew silent as the instrumental holy music enveloped the whole church. I was a bit surprised to notice Reese attentive and participant in the mass. Its just so rare to find a guy whose God fearing and not to mention family-oriented like him. I'm quite lucky, huh.

"The most hardest but also the most satisfying feeling is when you are able to forgive those who have sinned against you. Those who had inflicted pain upon you. It connects to God's sacred saying that 'Love your neighbours as you love thyself.' 'Love your enemy and pray for those who have hurt you.' We must reflect. If God, who is sinless and merciful, who chose to sacrifice his life for us, was able to find the goodness of people and forgive them -- why can't we?"

The priest's words struck the sleeping senses within my being. Something unfathomable tugged my heart making it beat frantically.

These past few days, I tried so hard to keep my mind off the gutter. Everything feels so heavy in my chest and there will still be times where I cry myself to sleep, confused of the flow of events. I just don't understand! Why is love like this? Why does it keep on hurting like countless of knives stabbed on chest? I am the one who felt the overall pain, grief, and pity of my mother's choice.

But what's more painful is seeing her act like its not a big deal at all! I even thought that maybe, at some point, papa cast some sort of spell on her, making her turn a blind eye to everything that is going on.

Everything feels so heavy in my chest so I decided to just go with the flow. If they are acting like nothing happened then so be it. I'll do the same because after all, praying for them is the most easiest way that I am capable of doing. I will just lift everything up to Him.