your static voice beside mine

making amends

For weeks, Josh retreated into his room after work, still replaying everything that had happened in his head. He didn't even get to say goodbye. The numbing sadness in his eyes and heart was here to stay.

He can't get Johnny's words out of his head. The scenes play over and over in his head, each time with more and more guilt. How could he let this happen? All he did was try to help, and Johnny just...he hung up. Without another word.

So, while driving by endless, meaningless roads, he heads to the house he grew up in with bits and pieces of an apology shuffling around in his head. Just one more thing to do before he left.

He pulls into the familiar driveway and stops himself before going in. Does he really want to do this? What if his parents don't even want to see him? He must be such a let-down to them. Reluctantly, he gets out of the car and makes his way up to the swinging glass door. The familiar colors of the bricks and the surrounding houses greet him like he's never left.

Forcing a knock, Josh sways with nervous anticipation. His father answers the door as they both stare into each other's similar eyes.

"Josh? Is that you?"

"Hey Dad," Josh says as his voice quivers.

"Well hey. You haven't called in a while," his father says with a bit of disappointment.

"Look, Dad, I just needed to get some things off my chest."

"Well, c'mon in," his dad says, motioning for him to come in. "It's just us home right now."

They walk to his living room, the familiar childhood pictures and furniture hitting him with nostalgia. His father takes a seat on the couch as Josh sits himself in a nearby chair, unsure of where to go from here.

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I was a pain in the ass as a kid, and I know that you and Mom were just trying your best. I see that now. But it's too late." Josh's voice gets soft, the confession being harder than he thought.

"It's never too late."

His words make Josh choke up, but he doesn't want to cry. He doesn't think he has any more tears left in him.

"Are you disappointed in me?"

"What?"

"I'm working a minimum wage job. I didn't go to college. I'm living with my friends. I'm going nowhere. How could you be happy with a son that turned out like that?" Josh says as he tries to hide the shame from his father's averting eyes.

"It's not about how much money you make or what your job is, but it's more about your character. For that, I'm proud of you."

The tears Josh didn't want to shed fill his eyes as he puts his head in his hands. "Thank you."

"I love you Josh. Don't ever forget that."

And with that, they talk for what feels like hours. But Josh doesn't mind. He's missed out on so much with his family. He's always managed to screw everything up. But for once, it felt nice to finally get something right.