The Experience Buddy [Completed]

Chapter 30

Warning: Coarse language used (one line)

It was as if our lips were glued together, we couldn't pull apart. My hands were busy running through his hair while his slipped underneath my shirt. He sucked on my lower lip causing me to let out a gasp.

Before you, I was someone who wished to find love, find a partner who loves me and for me to love him, enough that we can grow old together. I wasn't craving. But now, after being with you, I find myself desperate for your affection. Enough, just wasn't enough anymore. I wanted it all.

"You drive me crazy." Hero breathed heavily.

I wanted so much to tell you how much you drive me crazy, perhaps even more than I do to you. I wanted you to take me right now and then but was embarrassed and afraid.

Embarrassed because I might show how desperate I am for you. Afraid that my lack of experience will turn you off. While these words were suppressed, a tear ended up escaping, trickling down my face.

"Oh fuck. Are you okay, Love? Did I say or do something wrong?"

I shook my head and bit on my lower lips. More tears may flow if I open my mouth to speak. I put my arms around you and buried my face in your chest. You held me tight without saying anything more. Your comforting strokes on my back. Your familiar scent that I breathe in. Your soothing voice that calms me. Your loving gaze and embrace. Every day I get so afraid that I wouldn't measure up to be worthy to receive all these from you and that you will realize this one day and leave me.

-----

My eyes shot open the next morning. I could feel the warmth of another human being and arms wrapped around my waist. Turning my head, I saw your face next to mine.

You're still here.

"Hey, you feeling better?" Hero asked as he gently caressed my face. I smiled back weakly in response.

"Do you wanna talk?" His tone sounded hesitant and cautious.

It was hard at first to open up about my insecurities at first, because I wasn't sure if it was a legit reason for me to feel this way or was I over-reacting. So I kept convincing myself that it would be beneficial to not just myself, but both of us, to talk about it. Once the dam has been opened, everything just gushed out.

One of the many things that I love about Hero is that he is a great listener. He really listens. When I was speaking, he wasn't just busy thinking in head for the politically right answer to reply to me with. He was just quiet, being attentive, absorbing all that I had to share.

"I'm sorry, Ems, I didn't know you've been feeling this way the entire time." He picked up my hand in his and planted a kiss on the back of my hand.

Then he assured me that my insecurities were valid but would not be necessary anymore as he will work harder now to prove that he is here to stay. He will also try to be more aware of landing us in situations that will make me feel this way again. Hero even admitted that all along he always felt that he was the one that wasn't good enough for me.

So I've learned.

Communication is key.

But next time, I also learnt that in communication, words are the tools that make it effective.

-----

"Just smile. I can do this!" I thought to myself as I forced a smile when Sierra looked over. At the same time, I got conscious if others might mistaken it for muscle spasms in my face.

"Urgh, okay, actually I can't do this. Whenever I see her face, it just pisses me off." I sighed in my head as I turned away.

After the coach had dismissed the team for the evening, Hero strode over in my direction. I got up from the bench, wanting to close the distance between us when we-all-know-who jumped in between.

"Hi Hero, want some apple juice?" Sierra offered him a packet.

"No thanks. I prefer orange juice." Hero answered coldly. Then he walked past her and made his way to me.

"I'm going to change in my car. Let's go." He told me as he grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the building.

"You reek of sweat." I blurted without thinking.

"It's how a real man smells like." He grinned then he dropped his bag onto the ground and wrapped his arms around me.

"Uhm...Hero, I love you but sweat is not inclusive." I mumbled.

-----

I've always admired people who are determined and have perseverance.

But in Sierra's case, I can't tell if she just couldn't take the hint or she's just pretending.

Time and time again, I see her trying to get Hero's attention. No matter how much he tried to wave her off and give her the cold shoulder. She never gave up.

I was wrong to classify her as a bee the last time, she should be a cockroach. Always infesting other people's private space and yet, so tough to exterminate.

"Hi Hero! Want to join us for dinner?" She asked in her high pitched voice.

One other time, I witnessed her offering him a towel to wipe off his sweat. The towel was lavender in color and I think I saw a unicorn logo.

Not my man's cup of tea! Woman!

Then there was this other time when she skipped over to him to bring him a bottle of isotonic drink.

How many scenes have I witnessed till date and I was pretty sure there were many more that I wasn't around to see.

Note to self to carry around a bug spray.

Always Hero this.

And Hero that.

"Just stop it already!" I thought aloud. When I realized that I had shouted my inner thoughts to everyone in the hall, everybody was giving me a weird look, then my face turned tomato red in an instant.

"Oops." I smiled sheepishly.