The Experience Buddy [Completed]

Chapter 34

It was hard putting up a strong front so as not to worry my friends. The hardest was when I was back in our room in the dormitory with Nat present. The bed was my solace but when you have someone spearing at the walls of the fortress continuously, the pretense would just fall through. So I ended up spilling what I've been bottling up the past couple of days to her and Cheryl.

Even Davin noticed something was off about me so I gave him a summary of what happened. I've also shared bits and pieces with Madison and Frank over text messages and one call. Hero would try to catch me in person at my dormitory building or along hallways when I was making my way to classes but every single time I would run away. I couldn't keep my eyes dry if he was in my view.

The past few days, I've been avoiding Hero on purpose, ignoring his text messages because I needed alone time to think. I need space to sort out my feelings and to regroup myself again. And I won't be able to do it with him around since he breaks my resolve easily.

Hero: Ems, can we talk?

Hero: Ems, I'm sorry. Can we talk?

Hero: Hey Ems, please don't ignore me.

Hero: Call me back?

My phone would vibrate countless times in a day and even at night.

"Miss Lee, I bring with me good news." Sir Thomas brimmed from ear to ear when I met him outside of the staff lounge after being summoned. I really needed to hear something pleasant given my current mood.

Sir Thomas went on to share that his editor friend read my manuscript and liked it. Apparently, she told him that she liked mine in particular and wishes to contact me. Then he passed me her business card with her contact details. He advised that I should reach out to her soon to hear what she has to say and what opportunities she could offer.

"Katherine Powell..." I mumbled, reading the name off the card.

I unlocked my phone and saw the text messages in the preview.

Hero: Hey Love, I miss you.

Hero: Emily...

Hero: Ems, please...

Ignoring the bunch of them and all the missed calls, I dialed the number on the card and after three rings, a lady on the other side of the line picked up.

"Katherine Powell speaking here." She said.

"Hello Katherine, this Emily speaking. I was handed your business card by my Professor, Thomas." I told her.

"Emily...Why yes, yes! I've read through all the works that Thomas had sent over and your story reminded me of my first love. While it is definitely rough, I can see the potential. We can work on refining it together, if you would wish to." Katherine offered.

"Why-I-I would love to!" I squealed in excitement. The call with Katherine definitely turned my mood a hundred and eighty degrees around. I thanked her after we arranged for a date and time to meet to discuss in detail the contractual terms and commitment, given that I am still studying full-time.

Turns out that Katherine knew about the English competition that is held annually. Hence, every year, she would informally let Sir Thomas know about what she's looking out for, somewhat like a manuscript wishlist. Which was the reason why Sir Thomas picked a few of our works apart from the winner's to send over to her as he thought our works fit her bill.

I couldn't wait to tell Hero about the call that I just had with Katherine.

But then I remembered, we haven't sorted things out yet.

From the stories that I heard of other couples and from watching romance shows, I never understood how two people who are in love would sometimes choose to break up and go their separate ways rather than stick together to weather whatever that may come. I told myself that I would bulldoze through all obstacles with my partner, through thick and thin. But now that I actually landed in this situation, I became the kind of person that I didn't want to be. As much as I don't want to give up so easily, yet at the same time, how do you cling onto a relationship that was never meant to last?

When we were closing up the cafe for the night, Anne asked me if there was anything bothering me as she noticed my forlorn expression ever since I returned from Washington. I guess at this point, I didn't really bother with hiding it anymore. It was too hard to plaster on a fake smile when I was dying so much on the inside.

Since she asked, I thought it would be a good chance to confide in Anne. It would be good to get advice from someone older and more experienced. Jack left early today since he had something on, so after Anne was done closing the cash register and I was done with mopping the floor, we sat down at one of the tables near the window.

"Maybe it is a topic that he is just not ready to share with you yet. And if he isn't ready to tell, probing will only make him become more defensive. I suppose after having met your parents, it made him realize the gap between both your parents which might have made him more reluctant and thought you wouldn't understand his situation. I suggest that you be patient and constantly make him feel that you can listen without judgement." Anne advised,

It was dark outside now but the yellowish orange tinted lights in the cafe would make you think it's daybreak if you stared at the interior of the place. I have never tasted salted hot chocolate before until now, when my tears became the extra ingredient.

"I don't think I ever knew anybody who was in a relationship that didn't involve arguments. In my opinion, I think at least dishing out your disagreements would be better than bottling inside. Nobody can read another person's mind. My late husband and I used to fight a lot but we came to understand and appreciate the other person more after." Anne continued.

At that moment, there was a flash of blinding light from the outside. It came from the headlights of a car that I could recognize in the dark very easily. Anne traced my line of sight to see what I was staring at, then she added.

"If you don't mind me saying this, but you told Hero that he walks away from his problems with his family but aren't you doing the same now? Walking away from him and hiding because of your own fear that your relationship will break? The both of you are still young, you two still have a long journey ahead and there will be more to come down your road. So what if it didn't work out in the end? At least you know you've tried."

Anne's words hurt because deep down, I knew they were true. Every point hitting the nail right where it hurts the most.

"Hey." Hero came up to me as soon as I exited the cafe. He was still in his sports attire so I knew he came over right after practice. "Can I drive you back to your dorm?"

"Sorry, I think I will just take the bus. I really need some alone time." I told him, my voice almost croaking.

"Please, don't break up with me." He pleaded and grabbed my wrist before I could walk away.

Without responding, I pulled my hand loose from his grasp and walked away.

That same night, although Katherine didn't ask for it, since I couldn't sleep, I thought I would edit my manuscript and provide her a revised version when we meet next week. As I was editing, it was like reading my own story and I got flooded with flashbacks of all the memories with Hero then I realized that I love him way too much. I have invested too much feelings into this man, into our relationship to hit the stop button.

To think that I was guilty of what I accused Hero of. I walked away from him, putting a pause doesn't automatically repair our relationship. Concluding that our story will end before I gave my all was just horrible thinking on my part. I love him too much to turn back now so the only way is to go forth and give my all.