before you / jung jaehyun

nineteen

[ 28th April 2018, 4:23PM ]

senior graduation. parents, guardian and alumni were allowed back in school. mark lee was graduating today. he's finally leaving, good for aeri. it's like she's able to breathe again. sitting on the bleachers with aeri, looking over at the valedictorian giving a speech to the seniors, was jaehyun. 

jungwoo didnt come, he wasnt an alumni, plus, he had no interest in seeing children graduate, so he decided to take an extra shift and get paid overtime at the cafe. "you want some?" jaehyun asked, offering aeri some gummy. she pulled out her hand and it hit his', she felt her hair stand - butterflies. 

"sorry," she awkwardly laughed. jaehyun put the gummy in her hands instead. april was almost ending, and want to know the progress? the progress is that aeri has been acting normal. she convinced herself it was infatuation, nothing else. it's just a stupid kiss, plus he saw her as nothing more than a friend. so she had no choice but to lose interest. (but did she really?)

"finally he's leaving, god. it sucks," aeri said, chewing off her last gummy. jaehyun gobbled down the rest of the gummy, then laughed, agreeing. "he sucks," which made aeri laugh, cause it was true. mark lee does suck, and thank god she wouldnt have to be seeing him all the time passing through the hall. 

ever since the party, mark and aeri havent been talking. in fact, mark tried to avoid aeri for a solid one week. he felt embarrassed for saying all that sappy shit to her. and she didnt know what to say to him if he ever confronted her again. "he's such a dick, i mean, why would he even say that to you at the party if he has a girlfriend?" jaehyun complained again. 

"shut up, jae. you're getting riled up again. mark is a kid," aeri tried to calm jaehyun down. when all he did was scoff, "you're a kid," which made aeri furrowed her eyebrows, before slightly pushing him and messing up his hair. "shut up," was her rebuttal. 

"there's gonna be a party," jaehyun exclaimed, sipping on his diet coke. aeri looked over to the boy sitting on her right, "whose?" she asked. and he replied with, "a college friend of mine, this saturday," which just made aeri nod her head in acknowledgement. she didnt know what to say because the last party she went made her catch unwanted feelings for her bestfriend. 

"wanna come?" jaehyun asked, which took aeri a few seconds to digest. "i'm not your college-mate," she chuckled, trying to find an excuse not to go. "and? it's an open invitation. trust me, you'd be surprised at how many young people there are there," he explained. "now im concerned at these parties you're throwing," aeri said, laughing. 

jaehyun just let out a chuckle, "oh shut up. it's fine. plus, it's safe. if anybody touches you, they'll lose a hand," he said, reassuring her, not even looking at her, just drinking his diet coke and looking at the seniors shaking hands with the principal. butterflies. the second time. aeri felt them because of jaehyun. and she's still convincing herself that it's nothing more. 

"you want me to come?" aeri questioned, looking over to him. and he looked over back at her and put on a soft smile on his lips, "of course!" butterflies. the third time. aeri quickly looked away, "sure, i'll go. but i have nothing to wear," she added, trying to not think of what just happened. 

"put on something nice. it'll be nice to show you off," jaehyun giggled. the fourth time. another butterfly. this time, it's like the whole fucking cage broke. but aeri knew he was just kidding. at this point, she was thinking to herself - is he feeling what i'm feeling? 

"just shut up," she laughed it off. of course not. jaehyun would never feel the same way. he's in college, do you know how many hot girls there are over there? he could pull off any girl he wanted. of course not. you're just a friend, aeri. 

-  

[ 8:32PM ]

jaehyun
U MEAN MARK SAID DAT?

aeri
yes jae... he said that

jaehyun
HE SAID THAT??

aeri
YEAH HE DID BRUH 

jaehyun
omg mark is so fucking annoying

jaehyun
and u were STILL WITH HIM?

aeri
stop omg i was blinded by love

jaehyun
hell yeah u were

aeri
dont act like u didnt do the same

aeri
u let chungha hurt u too

jaehyun
we dont speak of the devil

aeri
is she pretty

jaehyun
i mean,,,,,, yeah i guess

jaehyun
why would u ask me that

aeri
idk. sorry

jaehyun
why are u apologizing

jaehyun
dont worry ure definitely prettier than her ok

aeri
[ rolling eye emoji ]

jaehyun
ITS TRUE OK

aeri
u dont have to lie to make me feel better jae

jaehyun
IM NOT LYING WTF

jaehyun
youre really pretty

aeri
well thank u

jaehyun
welcome :)

aeri
youre really pretty too

jaehyun
oh shut up

aeri
i cant compliment u?

jaehyun
do u think i could pull off to be ur bf

aeri
??!!?!?!?!?!?!?! why would u ask me that

jaehyun
idk. cuz mark, jaemin and i look diff

jaehyun
they look like little kids. 

aeri
THEY ARE. 

jaehyun
i could totally beat them 

aeri
YOU WOULD CATCH A CASE

aeri
u keep forgetting they're like... 19

aeri
do u think i could pull off to be ur gf then

jaehyun
yea <3

aeri
stop flirting with me right now

jaehyun 
IM KIDDING

aeri
of course ure kidding </3

jaehyun
what would u say if i told u i was talking to chungha rn

aeri
i would block u and then pour coffee all over u when we meet

jaehyun
DAMN 

aeri
why would u ask me that tf

aeri
are u speaking to her

jaehyun
nah

jaehyun
just wondering 

jaehyun
jungwoo said i shld get closure

aeri
do u want some?

jaehyun
idk

jaehyun
he says i cant open up my heart cuz of the lack of closure

aeri
i mean its true but

aeri
some people believe u dont really need closure too

aeri
sometimes not knowing why they did what they did is best for u too

jaehyun
ure right

jaehyun
but what if what jungwoo said is true?

jaehyun
should i?

aeri
do u want to believe its true?

aeri
no u shouldnt

aeri
u finally got better after so long

aeri
what if u start speaking to her and u hit rock bottom again?

jaehyun
what if i dont?

aeri
u will.

jaehyun
how are you so sure anyway?

aeri
thats what happened between me and mark

aeri
i thought i needed closure. then he told me what he felt

aeri
and i got swooned all over again

aeri
and look where that got me

aeri
broken-hearted........ like a loser

jaehyun
yeah but im not u....

aeri
what is that supposed to mean

jaehyun
nothing

aeri
no say it 

jaehyun
i dont get swooned that easily bruh

aeri
ok? and?

jaehyun
so im sure i wont hit rock bottom like u did

aeri
?????????????

aeri
im just concerned about you

aeri
youre my friend

aeri
i care for you

jaehyun
yeah but ure not my girlfriend

aeri
what the fuck are u saying

jaehyun
nothing

aeri
it better be nothing because if u say something stupid again i will kill you

jaehyun
im sorry

jaehyun
ill see u on sat at the party i guess

aeri
'i guess' ?????

jaehyun
ill pick u up then we can go

aeri
its fine. if youre gonna be acting weird like this then i wont go

jaehyun
dont be like this

aeri
youre the one being like 'this'

jaehyun
and i apologized

aeri
look if u were offended that i was warning u over chungha then im sorry

aeri
text her and get closure for all i care 

aeri
but dont come crying if she breaks ur heart all over again

aeri
i just care. okay? end of story

aeri
i dont have to be ur girlfriend to be a nice human being