before you / jung jaehyun

thirty four

[ 29th October, 2018, 2:12PM ]

jaehyun stared at the ceiling. he was still on the same bed for more than seven hours. he just stared at the ceiling and let his thoughts run through his head. he just laid there and stared at nothing and for some reason, it was calming him down. he turned to look right next to him and it was his close friend, soomin.

he didnt feel anything. he wasnt angry, happy, upset. his heart wasnt palpitating quick or slow. it was at a normal pace. and then he turned back to stare at the ceiling. he let out a loud sigh. no emotions at all, all he could feel was- emptiness.

like for some reason, it felt like there was this empty space in himself that hasnt been filled yet. and he was so sure that he would feel whole again after getting laid. but he still felt like nothing has changed. what was wrong with him? jaehyun kept asking himself that.

that was until the door slammed open and it was sunwoo. "get up jae! you've been here the whole night. i want to sleep too!" he whined, complaining and just rambling on and on. soomin woke up from her deep sleep. she looked over to jaehyun and grinned. jaehyun knew she would definitely say something, so he quickly got up to put on his shirt that was on the floor.

he didnt want to speak to anyone. jaehyun didnt feel like talking today.

he picked up his phone and wallet and walked out of the room. but that was before soomin yelled out his name. "jae wait up!" she kept repeating but he ignored her. he wasnt in the mood. "jaehyun! are we just going to forget this whole thing happened?" she yelled again.

jaehyun let out an effortless scoff, rolled his eyes without her seeing. he turned around to look at her, "i made it clear havent i? take this to the grave," was what he said. soomin looked at him and frowned, she was upset because jaehyun was acting like as if he was embarrassed about everything. and that made her feel insecure.

before he walked off, she grabbed his hand to stop him. "are you embarrassed to sleep with me? that's why you wanna take this to the grave?" she asked. jaehyun just looked at her, and then yanked his hand away from her touch. "this was a mistake, soomin," was all he said before walking off for real this time.

he didnt want to speak to anyone.

he took a cab back to his apartment. and when he finally arrived back home he immediately went into the shower. a long hot bath was what he needed and that was what he got. all he felt was nothing but pure emptiness. he couldnt stop thinking of what happened yesterday.

the way he just threw himself to soomin, a friend of his. a good one too. he was disgusted at himself. was it even that serious to begin with? why did he have to sleep with someone to prove to himself that he had no romantic feelings for his bestfriend?

if he could take back the night before, he would in an instant. but he cant. and that's fine. only jungwoo knew about it. as long as aeri didnt find out, he could live life peacefully. for some reason he felt like if aeri knew he slept with someone else, she would feel upset.

and he promised he would never hurt her again.

-
[ 5:31PM ]

jungwoo stirred his iced coffee with his straw. and then he took a sip. it was his third coffee today. aeri looked at him with deep concern. they were at the usual cafe. after taking a short nap at home, jungwoo asked aeri out for coffee. and aeri had nothing to do, so she said fuck it.

earlier on in the day, at around 4pm. she got a text from kunhang. and ever since then, they've been in contact and texting each other. she liked kunhang. not in the romantic way of course, but in a friendly way. like how she was with jaemin at the moment.