~[] Statehumans: Unscripted! []~ [A Statehumans story collection by Mars]

Story 8: Debunking- what the fuck is that?

    It's obvious that the states make... questionable decisions. But what if they tried to be professional, by debunking crazy hacks made by Russians?
    You get something like this.

    "Ok, so if that button right there is green, that means we're recording. It's green so- oh my god! Hello whoever is seeing this, it's your favourite Statehumans, and today, we'll be debunking hacks. Mainly from this weird channel called 5 minute crafts, who make sometimes good, and sometimes bullshit hacks." Hawaii said, enthusiastic to regret basically everything she would do with the other states today. "Ok, so 5-minute crafts is a channel run by TheSoulPublishing, a media company that also makes a bunch of other channels like 5-minute crafts. The videos on there range from hacks, to skits, to products, which they don't tell us the name of." Delaware added. "So let's try some hacks while Matt freezes to death!" (I'm literally shaking-)

    "Our first hack is that if you spill coffee on your shirt, you can outline it with a sharpie and it'll become... a country?" Pennsylvania was stumped of how they managed to spill coffee in the shape of The Bahamas. "Ok, there's honestly no way they just did that, but fuck it! I have some cooled down coffee, and Alaska will spill it on thus white shirt he's wearing." She handed Alaska the coffee and pushed him outside. "Do it!" Arizona yelled aiming the camera at him. Alaska (purposely) spilt the coffee onto himself before taking a sharpie out of his back pocket and lining it he weird shape he had made. "As you can see, this looks like... Poland I guess? They weren't lying when they said Poland was everywhere." Delaware begged to differ. "Looks more like Ohio to me." She said, point to the shirt and the state of Ohio. "Wait, it's all Ohio?" Alaska asked. "Always has been." Texas said with a gun in her hand. "Ok, less memes, more hacks." California said.

     "Next, 5 minute crafts is telling us that if we can't put on a swim cap,we can fill it with water, and drop it on their head, completely defeating the purpose of a swim cap. But we don't have hair, so let's just do it." Cali walked over to the pool where Hawaii was sitting. "Alright, now that Cali has filled up the swim cap with water, he will drop it on my head." Cali dropped the water filled swim cap on Hawaii's head, splattering water everywhere. "Cali! That water was cold!" Hawaii exclaimed, Cali then realized he used the cold water from the sink... it was fall. "Well, at least it's on." Texas added.

"Next things next, we just need to- why the FUCK is that a thing This next hack is... uh... how do I say this... if the toilet is broken, you get a bag, put some dirt or soil in it, put in on the toilet and... do your business in it. Then you have to throw it in the trash. Fucking disgusting." Alaska regret having to explain that, 101 percent. "What if your peeing out of your butt? What if the bag is broken? WHAT IF THE BAG OVERFLOWS?!" Hawaii asked while she was seeing equations in her view... she was still even asking herself questions. Delaware calmed down Hawaii. "Ok, who has to do their business? The toilet in the 2nd floor bathroom is broken, Florida tried to flush Alabama's... questionable books that he made, he tried to be good, but he should have just burned them." Florida stood up. "I clogged it, so I should face public embarrassment, but I do that a lot so gimme the human doo-doo bag." Delaware handed the bag to Florida, as he ran upstairs like a brave soldier. A few minutes later, Florida came downstairs and yeeted it in the trash. "Mission accomplished." He said walking over to the states. D.C. went into the kitchen and stopped. "Why is that smell coming from the garbage?" D.C. asked. All of the states looked at each other. "I burnt something, but it already didn't smell too good, because I didn't add a certain ingredient." Louisiana answered. "I believe you." D.C. said as he walked out of the room. All of the states let out a big sigh. "Alright. Next hack!" Pennsylvania exclaimed.

"Our fourth hack is- Excuse me what the fuck-" The hack was if your glasses can't stay on your forehead, you can stick one of those coat hangers onto your forehead. In the five seconds Delaware wasn't looking, Pennsylvania "gently" stabbed the coat hanger thing onto her sister's forehead. "There! Now you can put your glasses on your forehead!" Pennsylvania exclaimed looking like a four-year-old who did something incredibly stupid but to them was amazing. Delaware put her glasses on her forehead. "It works, I guess." Delaware then tore off the hanger... it left a mark. "Wait! I have an idea!" Pennsylvania grabbed some paint in the colour of Delaware's flag and started painting her head. She didn't paint all of it though, she painted it so the red looked like lightning, then she put the glasses on Delaware's face. "You're a wizard, Delaware." Pennsylvania said. Delaware looked at her with a straight face, while some of the states were laughing. "Your humour is dryer than a fucking desert." Delaware said, clearly not amused.

    "Our fifth, and final hack, if you make some toothpaste blobs, put baking soda on them, and leave them to dry, you'll have toothpaste bites. Finally, someone did it." Alaska said, excited to get this shit over with. (Look Alaska, I am too.) "Now, because we need to wait for them to dry, we already have them made! Louisiana, would you do the trying of the toothpaste bites?" Hawaii asked giving her the glass bottle they put them in. "Sure!" She replied as everyone followed her into the bathroom. She put one of the bites into her mouth and started brushing her teeth with the wet toothbrush. After she brushed her teeth she decided to talk about them. "It took a bit for the bite to become actual toothpaste-like stuff, but it worked, and now we're done!" Louisiana exclaimed, relieved of these hacks.

    "Ok, this is gonna be quick, but a lot of people have started debunking hacks, as content farms are becoming more frequent on social media, with hacks that mostly don't work, or are mostly just stupid. So yea, in all, don't try everything you see, because you never know when you can burn your house down from a cooking hack you saw on Instagram. Thanks for watching us suffer, and bye." After Hawaii stopped talking, Delaware shut off the camera. Finally, the hell was over.

Hey guys! Sorry I haven't posted in a while, I'm in school again and I'm spending all of my motivation there, so when I have time for it, I have no idea what to do. Because of me just going missing, I'm going to do a weekly A/N! On the weekly A/N, I'll talk about my writing and some stuff about my life. I won't have time for one this week, but next week I'll start them up, and I'll also try to do one every week. Or I might just make a separate book for it if this one gets too crowded. I'm also redoing the cover in my new style! I did the heads wrong in the new one, but it's nothing. My next story will mist likely be a Halloween story, as Halloween is in the air! (Well, if you live in the northern hemisphere, that is.) I'm planning to make that story one of five parts of a story called "Glow", which is just basically about that it's ok to not be ok. So yea, kinda deep, but an amazing message indeed. Anyway, you can look up to the top for my new style, sorry the legs are messy though, I had to redo them a bit. Anyway, until next time, Matt, signing off. Bye! (Edit: Lol, I forgot that the picture up top wasn't my art, but another pic I took. I changed it tho, sorry if you were confused.)