✌︎︎ Timothée Chalamet Imagines ✌︎︎

s o l d i e r b o y - p a r t 1

(Your Pov)
It's been a while since I saw him. My boyfriend joined the army, and he was sent to Iraq almost a year ago to fight.
I never wanted him to go. I put up a huge fit about it, but nothing I did mattered. He was so focused on going, and there was no stopping him. He said if he died, he'd die a hero, and that's all he wanted.
Not even I could persuade him to change his mind.
I cried in his arms the night before he left. My heart ached for him. I need him by my side, without him, I feel incomplete.
As I lay in my bed crying, I have a flashback to that very night...

*𝙁𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙝𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 (11 𝙢𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙝𝙨 𝙖𝙜𝙤)
"Timmy, I'm going to miss you so much. I don't know what I'll do without you." I sobbed into his chest. We were cuddling on the couch watching movies all day, spending as much time as possible with each other before saying our dreaded goodbyes in the morning at the airport.
I had my arms wrapped around his torso, and my legs cling to him underneath the soft blanket, as I cry into the crook of his neck.
His arms were wrapped around me, rubbing my back gently with one hand, while the other squeezed my shoulder. I felt him occasionally plant kisses on the top of my head, and I could tell he was getting choked up.
"I'm going to miss you too baby. More than you know. And don't worry, I know your going to be alright. Your a strong, gorgeous and independent woman. You'll be alright. Everything's going to be alright."
Now I could hear the sadness in his voice. I looked up at him sympathetically, and noticed tears welling in his bright green eyes. I couldn't help but cry even more.
It was bad enough that I was upset, but the fact that even he couldn't stay strong for us, made the whole thing even worse. I hated seeing my baby so upset, I just couldn't bear it. He usually never cries, so that's how I knew that this was affecting him in a terrible, torturous way.
I loved how he was trying to sooth my pain, but it just wasn't working. I looked up into his eyes, and just cried.
"I need you, Timmy..." I whispered softly. A tear fell down from his eye, and he gave me the most sympathetic look I've ever seen. He needed me too, just as much as I needed him, but he didn't want to admit it, for fearing that he'll make things worse. Make me even more depressed, make him even more depressed, when all he was trying to do was clear the air, and try to make things better and easier on both of us.
"Y/n/n, baby, i have to tell you something. I know we've been dating for two years now, but everyday, when I'm with you, it feels like the first time. Every time you touch me, I get chills. When you hold me, I feel so secure in your arms. When you kiss me, it feels like the first time. Butterflies erupt inside me, and the whole world disappears. It's just me and you. And when you tell me you love me, my heart races, and even though you tell me all the time, It never seems to feel normal. I always get an intense feeling when you say those words, and when you look at me, my heart explodes. I want to be with you forever and a day. I never want to lose you because y/n, you mean the world to me. I was always to scared to admit these feelings to you, but now I know is the right time. I love you y/n. I always have, always will."
His words shattered my heart. He was so poetic and beautiful, and I knew he spoke the truth. I didn't even know what to say. I was so speechless, I just let my actions take over. I pulled his head down to mine aggressively, and kissed him softly. I can't get enough of him, and I don't know how it's going to be without him, but right now, all I'm worried about is the time I have left with him.
Knowing that tomorrow morning, my love will be leaving me for god only knows how long, and I may possibly never see him again, the thought killed me, but I wasn't willing to waste a single second.
The kiss started off smoothly, but turned into something more. I opened my mouth wider, allowing his tongue access to my throat. I felt his hands work their way down my back, and he slid his hands under my shirt. He pulled my shirt off and started un-clipping my bra. I slammed his back up against the back of the couch and got on top of him, kissing up and down his cheek, his perfect jawline, and working my way down to his collarbone. I pulled his shirt off over his head, and smiled at him.
I was taking full advantage of this moment, because I knew that it was the last time I'd be able to do it with him before he goes.
I slipped my tongue back into his mouth, such a pleasuring feeling. He pulled away and stared at me smiling.
I felt cold and deserted without his soft lips on mine. It was a taste I knew all too well, a feeling I craved. I couldn't get enough of him.
He started rubbing my back in small circles, caressing every inch of my body.
"Should we take this upstairs?" He said in his seductive voice. He knew it turned me on.
I just smiled and nodded, not wanting to ruin this intense moment.
He picked me up off of the couch, and carried me up to our bedroom.
He laid me down on our bed, kissing my body up and down. He returned to my jawline, kissing me slowly. He worked his way down my neck, my chest, my belly, and eventually found his way to my sweatpants. He looked at me as if asking permission to take them off, I just nodded at him.
He smiled as he removed my sweatpants, revealing my long, tan legs. He started kissing my inner thighs, working his way toward my panty line.
I could feel my climax about to come, but my panties weren't even off yet. Timothée slipped them off ever so gently, and started kissing and licking me all over.
He pulled away as soon as I reached my peek. He climbed on top of me, leaning back down and kissing my lips.
"I want you inside me..." I moaned into the kiss.
And with that, without any hesitation, we made love into the night.
We held each other all night, both of us crying into each other.
I'm going to miss this...
I thought to myself. I can't get through the long nights without Timmy right by side. It was going to be very hard, but I knew that in relationships, you need to make sacrifices. And I loved this boy more than words could explain. There was no denying it. We've had to come to many compromises, and make several sacrifices to keep each other happy. I've had to sacrifice a lot for his career, and he's had to sacrifice a lot for mine. Even if it means possibly losing him forever, as long as he wants this, I'm all for it.
The next day was painful. I drove Timmy to the airport. We got there a little extra early, so we sat down on a bench. I didn't want to say anything, and I didn't want to hold him. Even just sitting next to him made me weak. I knew if I held him, I'd probably just break.
I couldn't do that to him, though. As much as I wanted to cry and hold him until our final minutes together were up, I knew that would be selfish of me. I couldn't do that to him, or to myself.
We heard a lady announce that his plane was now boarding, and my heart sank. I almost puked out of nerves. I was so scared for him. So scared knowing that I might lose him.
We both stood up, and stared at each other for a few seconds before he pulled me into a tight hug. I'd been fighting back tears all day, but now that he was holding me in his arms as we said our final goodbyes, I couldn't bear it anymore. The intense pain in my chest was to much to handle.
I promised myself that I wouldn't cry, mainly for him. But I couldn't take it. I buried my face in his neck, and cried so bad. I could feel his throat tighten, and when I looked up to see him, he was crying even harder than me.
Part of him wanted to go and fight for our country, but the other part of him was having trouble letting go. I knew he didn't want to leave me intentionally, and I knew he was having trouble accepting the fact that he wouldn't be waking up next to me every morning. But I didn't know that he had such strong emotions. I've never seen him cry so much in my life.
He looked at me with a sad expression on his face, and tried to choke back tears so that he could talk to me.
"Y/n, listen to me. Everything is going to be fine. Your going to be alright. I just want to mentally forewarn you, if anything happens to me, I don't want you to mourn me for the rest of your life-"
"Please Timmy, please don't say that..." I cried. And then it hit me. All those beautiful words he spoke to me last night, why did he feel the need to tell me now.
I asked him why, and he looked at me with such pain, but tried to cover it up.
"Okay....baby, I'm not trying to overwhelm you, or make you nervous, but the reason I said all of those things, was because I've never told you before, and...." he hesitated, taking a deep breath.
"....I don't know if I'll ever live to tell you. Y/n, you are my whole world, and I promise you, I promise you that I will never let anything happen to you, and I've sworn by that my entire life. But if anything happens to me, baby, I need you to remember everything I told you, okay?"
  "Timmy...I cant live without you..."
"Baby..." he hesitated for a moment, trying to get his thoughts together.
  "I can't live without you either. It's going to be so, so hard for me to get used to you not being there with me. I've been trying not to make this hard on you, but...I-I don't know if I'll ever see you again..." he stammered.
  "....so, our last minutes together are finally up. I didn't think it would be this quick...." he sobbed. I could tell that he was trying so hard to stay strong, but he was having a hard time.
  He turned his head back to look at the escalator behind us, and turned back to me.
  "Timmy...can you hold me?" I could barely get a word out. My throat felt like it was closing with each breath I took, drowning in my own body.
  He didn't say a word. I knew he was choking back tears, and trying his hardest not to give in. He wrapped his arms around me tightly, trying desperately to close any gap between us. We were so close, but close wasn't enough. He placed his soft lips to my head, planting them into my hair.
  I tucked my head into his shoulder, trying so hard to soak up his woodsy scent. The smell of his cologne always got me. It was a scent I would be without, causing my heart to break even more.
  We heard the lady on the speaker announcing their last call for passengers on Timothées plane.
  He pulled away gently, kissing me like he's never going to see me again. I'm going to miss how he tastes. I watched as tears fell from his green eyes, and he began to walk away. I stayed and watched as he stood on the escalator, staring back at me with an emotional face. My heart already ached for his touch.
  He turned around to get one more look at me, one last time. He blew me a kiss, and just like that, he was gone.
I stood there a moment longer, watching my whole world slip away, just like that. I felt like I was dying inside.
  A throbbing sensation of knives stabbing my chest, and a cloud of smoke washing over me, causing my vision to go blurry. Everyone, and everything disappeared, and it was just me.
  The muffled sounds of the airport faded away as I thought long and hard about Timothée.
  How can I be alright?
Timothée is the reason I get through every long hard day at work, my reason for waking up in the morning and falling asleep at night. He's my cuddle buddy, the guy who I go to for support, the one who constantly reminds me that I'm beautiful everyday, the guy I have movie nights with, have pillow fights with. We bake, we cook, we laugh, we sing, we love each other.
  Whenever I'm in doubt, I always turn to him. He always says he'll be right by my side through everything, forever and always.
  And now, as I stand here alone, watching my baby leave me, all the pain is subsided, and I feel a sensational wave of relief wash over me.
  I still felt awful, and I already missed him, and I knew that with each coming day, it would be harder, but at the same time, I knew that he loved me.
  I knew that he meant every word he ever said to me. All the nights I would cry into my pillow, he was there to remind me of how special I truly am.
  As I reminisce on all of the things we'd done together, I can't help but think of how much fun we always have.
  He loves me, and I love him. I will be eagerly waiting for him. He's a strong person, and I know he'll be okay. He's the reason I get through my hard patches in life, and with that thought permanently planted into my head, I suddenly have faith.
  But, I'll miss him like crazy. There's no denying that.

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