A fucked life (very flawful)-Ian Gallagher By: Keirla Olmstead (Book 1)

Whatever helps you sleep at night

"Thank you so much for watching her," I said to my grandparents.

"No problem. How's your father doing?" my grandmother asked.

"He's in rehab. It's just me," I said waving to Layla.

"Ian!?" she yelled running to me. I leaned down and hugged her.

"We showed her pictures so she wouldn't forget," they both said hugging me.

"Thank you so much," I said hugging them back.

"Ready to go Layla?" I said picking her up.

"YESSSSSSS!" she said wiggling around.

"Okay, let's go," I left waving.

We got to the house and she talked about everything she did. 

I could sum up my entire 3 years for her but I wasn't going to.

What would I say. Mommy died, daddy became abusive if you didn't have him tied up, Ethan wouldn't be coming over anymore, Noel wouldn't be coming home for a long time. I wouldn't ever do that to her.

"Where's Noel?" she asked walking inside the house looking around.

"He's gone for a while," I said.

"Wanna see your new bed?" I said heading up the stairs.

"SURE!" she said excitedly.

I showed her her bed and we came back downstairs.

"Daddy coming home in a couple of weeks," I said in looking in the freezer.

"Is mommy dead?" she asked out of random.

"Uhhh, mommy is. She had cancer which is something that makes you really sick," I said sitting down beside at her at the table.

"I'm going to miss her," Layla said as she coloured a picture.

"Me too," I said kissing her forehead.

"Where's that boy that you used to hang out with?" she said as she grabbed a blue.

"Ethan?" I said showing her a photo.

"No, the one with dark hair. He always was smiling at you," she said showing me her smile.

"Mickey?" I asked her.

"Yeah, him. The one that granny and grandpa said you were in love with," she said.

My heart melted. They knew. They seen how I looked at him.

"He's... away," I said sadly.

"Why? Where did he go? Why didn't you go with him? You love him, right?" she said looking at me in the eyes.

"Well, he didn't want me going with him. I don't know where he went, I wish I did. I'm not even sure if I love him anymore. I don't think he loved me," I said turning to her who had bright eyes and was focused on me.

"Well, I think you should try and find him. Try and talk to him. I think you know how you feel you are just trying to cover it up to make yourself feel better," she said going back to drawing her picture.

I don't think he went far. I think he just wants to be found," she said shrugging.

That night I couldn't stop thinking about what Layla said. 

"Was she right? Is Mickey waiting for me?" I thought.

"Can I sleep with you tonight," Layla said opening my door a tiny bit.

"Sure, why not?" I said making room for her.

She crawled into bed with me.

"Let's go searching for him tomorrow," she said rolling over.

"Okay, deal,"

The next morning I got up early and made breakfast for Layla and I.

"Morning," she said hopping down the stairs.

"Hey, I don't think I want to go searching for Mickey today," I said putting pancakes on the plates.

"Why not," she said sitting down at the table.

I carried the plates over to the table.

"I just think he would call if he wanted to sort things out," I said sitting down.

"Nah, it's Mickey," 

She was really smart for her age. She was almost 6.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," she said shoving a fork in her mouth.