platonic crush // dwt

IV

Tᴀᴄᴇɴᴅᴀ (ɴ) -ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ ʟᴇғᴛ ᴜɴsᴀɪᴅ; ᴍᴀᴛᴛᴇʀs ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴘᴀssᴇᴅ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ɪɴ sɪʟᴇɴᴄᴇ

Trigger warnings:
-panic attack
-mentioned rape
-self harm

Remember to vote <3

I was at George's house. I didn't know how I got here though.
Clay and Nick were there as well, and the three others were playing monopoly while having a conversation.

"I'm glad she's dead, she was pretty annoying anyways. She always tagged alongside me. I tried to get rid of her but it didn't work. She's just so clingy and babyish. Like she needs a mommy to take care of her," I heard George say.

"For reallll," Nick added, "she cant even handle herself, just always leaning on us for support." He looked disgusted.

Clay smirked and shook his head. "It was the funniest fucking thing when she called me though, she was all like 'C-c-Clay h-help me' I HAD TO TRY SO HARD NOT TO LAUGH"

What?

My breaths sped up-
What the fuck? WHAT THE FUCK?
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON
WHY AM I HERE
WHY AREN'T THEY ACKNOWLEDGING ME
WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT

MAKE IT STOP

I sat up in bed, eyes wide, and confused. I was soaked with cold sweat, and was breathing hard.

I knew it was a dream, but something about it felt so real. As if this was really happening right now.

They never liked me.
No one cares about me.

I inhaled deeply as I started to fucking cry AGAIN.
I walked to the bathroom.

I sat on the closed toilet seat under the bright light and cold atmosphere of my bathroom, and started shaking from the pure force of emotions weighing down on me.

Trying to do it as fast as possible so I didn't think twice, I grabbed a blade.

I stared at the metal for barely 4 seconds before I dug it across my wrist.

I grimaced as the skin broke. I watched as blood started to pool in the indent, and create a large bead near the front of it. I could see little yellow circles popping out from under the white, and had to look away. The blood started dripping down my forearm, and I let it. I kept dragging the blade across my skin, the stinging satisfying me.

My arm was dripping with blood, so I wiped it up with tissues and put bandaids on.

Even though it hurt like a bitch, I was proud. I didn't know why.

I felt satisfied with myself.

I looked in the mirror with bandaids stuck to my bloody arms and salty tears staining my face on my way out of the bathroom.

None of this would have fucking happened if I didn't leave my drink unattended. What the hell was I thinking??

God, this was all my fault.
I walked back over to my bed.
It was 6:00 in the morning, and i was exhausted. I pulled the covers over my shaking body.

I fell asleep-

Just to wake up again two hours later.

—CLAY'S POV—

I got up at 10:00 on Sunday, immediately taking out my phone and texting Ava a quick "call me."

I felt so awful for leaving her like that. I regretted it the second I walked out her door, but it was too late to go back.

30 minutes later and still no response.

I decided posting on Twitter may work because of all the notifs of fans tagging her:

DREAM @dreamwastaken                                ...
Ayo Ava respond to my texts
likes: 50k    comments: 9k retweets: 1246

@weheartdt: What happened to Ava, is she okay??

@nightvampire28: LMFAO YALL CHILL😭 dream stans are sumn else I'm embarrassed for you

@dreamxava: JSJJD I SHIP THEM SO HARD xD
        —> @ashcraft man stfu😭

@crazymaroonsocks: @avagloss respond to Dream🙄

@sweatpantsandcheetos: DREAM WE ARE ON OUR HANDS AND KNEES FOR CONTENT HERE PLEASE WE'RE STARVING

@user367485: check out sweatersbysophia.com for beautiful sweaters for all your needs!!

Already regretting bringing attention to this entire situation, I set down my phone and decided to go to the mall to take my mind off her.

I drove to the mall, walked into Starbucks to get a coffee, but saw one of Ava's friends at a table eating a sandwich. I walked over to her.

"Hi, uh, are you Lauren?"

"Uhhhh yes? Who are you?"

"I'm Clay. Ava's friend. I'm kind of worried about her. Something... happened last night to my knowledge, and she's pretty shooken up. Do you know what happened?

"Yeah, I though something was wrong- She was pretty drunk, and from what I know, she went upstairs with a random dude... He came down after like a bit, and she came down like half an hour after, and she was crying and shit. It might've just been a stupid makeout session-"

I tensed up hearing that last part.

"-but I haven't seen her since. I don't know the details."

"Oh my god. OH MY GOD. Did that guy fucking assault her??"

"I don't know..."

"Fuck. Thank you so much..."

"No problem- Please make sure she's okay."

"I will," I said to her, walking out the door, completely forgetting about the coffee.

I got in my car.

I SWEAR TO GOD, IF ANYONE LAID A FUCKING FINGER ON HER....

A/N
So basically it says just "she grabbed a blade" and I know that makes absolutely no sense, because who just has a fucking blade lying around, but if I went into detail about how she GOT that blade, then I'd be telling people how to get a blade. Which I don't wanna do. So yeah lol

Word count: 960