platonic crush // dwt

VI

Eᴄᴄᴇᴅᴇɴᴛᴇsɪᴀsᴛ (ɴ) -sᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ʜɪᴅᴇs ᴘᴀɪɴ ʙᴇʜɪɴᴅ ᴀ sᴍɪʟᴇ

Trigger warnings:
-anxiety
-self harm

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Clay's pov

Waking up the next morning, I immediately opened twitter and deleted the tweet, rubbing my eyes.

I fed my cat after making it to the kitchen, then started making my own breakfast.
As eggs sizzled in my pan, I opened messages.

Clay
Look ik you prob don't
wanna talk rn but honestly
I'm really fucking worried
about you. Are you sure
you're good?

Ava POV

I woke up to a dinging in my phone.
My eyes slowly opened, and I realized I had fell asleep in my bathroom.
I lifted my body off the ground and grimaced as my neck moved
Fuck, of course my neck fucking hurts.

I checked who messaged me.

...

For fuck's sake.

Ava
yeah :) I'm okay dw im rly sorry
for last night btw

I walked out of my bathroom and changed into a new sweater and sweatpants.
Brushing my hair and teeth at the same time, I grabbed my keys and bag.
Going back to the bathroom and spitting out the toothpaste in my mouth, I slapped bandaids on my wrist and pulled my sweater sleeve down my arm. Finally I left.

I stared out the window on the bus.

As I got off and started walking, tears started to form in my eyes.

What the fuck is wrong with me? I was barely fucking lucid, why is it affecting me so much??

I lifted my hand to my face, wiping the tear drops from my cheeks, and I was at school before I knew it.

Me and the rest of my friend group studied compsci and coding together. Nick and Clay knew each other since they were kids, and they met George online later on. George moved to Florida to go to the same Uni as Nick and Clay. The three of them met me when we had classes together. That's when we started making videos together.

Before getting my own apartment, I was living with my friend, Luke. I moved out of my parent's house when I was 16 due to some issues with my dad. I was basically homeless for a week or two before Luke convinced his parents to let me stay with them. After awhile, I moved away from Texas to Florida, away from Luke. We stayed good friends, and called often. He used the name Punz online, and became friends with Clay, George and Nick when I introduced them to eachother, before he moved and lost contact with us. We don't know exactly what happened to him, but I think he just needed to get away from everyone. I've learned to stop dwelling on it.

Anyways, after me discovering minecraft, Clay invited me to film a couple videos on his YouTube channel, introducing the dream team to the internet.

As I walked to the bathroom to get a hold of myself, I saw George and Clay leaning against one of the buildings.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck please don't notice me.

"Yo Ava!" George yelled.

Shit

I turned around, trying to smile.
"Hi!"
"Come here!" Yelled Clay across the field, and I walked over.

He didn't seem mad, so maybe he's trying to forget what happened the night before?

"You didn't answer our call last night, were you busy?"
"Uh, yeah I was busy doing some editing."
"Oh," George said with a look on their face that told me they didn't buy it, "okay then. No problem."
He looked over at Clay, his brows furrowed up in some sort of concern.
Fuck, did Clay tell them?

A pair of large hands suddenly grabbed my shoulders tightly.

Just like the ones grabbing them a couple nights before.

I whipped my head around.

"Avaaaaaa did I scare you??" Nick giggled.
I dug my nails into my palms, trying to stop tears from spilling out.

"Whoa! You okay?? I didn't mean to make you..."
"It's okay!" I shakily smiled.
"Hey, Ava, seriously, are you okay? What happen-"
"It's fine," I cut him off.

I knew I wasn't convincing anyone.
"I have to go to the bathroom, I'll see you in class."
I turned around and walked away, wiping my eyes with the back of my hands.
I rushed into the bathroom, and stared in the mirror.
I took a deep breath.

What is wrong with me what's wrong with me what's wrong with me.

I locked myself in a stall and rustled through my bag, looking for the blade I shoved in there. I pulled it out, and sliced my wrist quick, immediately. I continued multiple times, bleeding more than last time. I got some blood on my sweater and swore under my breath. Quickly rubbing it off before it stained, I hastily stuck bandaids on my arm and put the blade back in my bag.

I stumbled out of the stall in a rush.

As I exited the bathroom, I saw the person I most needed right now.

"Aera, oh my god."

A/N
874 wordssss
Sorry it took so long to post another chapter. Thanks for reading, 1K READS??? Oh my god guys thank you so much you don't even understand <3 love you