Beyond This World / Moon Gang-tae & Ko Mun-yeong (On-going)

Chapter 18: They Just Don't Know (MST)

Disclaimer: I am in no way an expert in psychology, especially in what persons with autism go through. This chapter is purely based on my perception of what is going on in Sang-tae's mind, and does not necessarily reflect reality.

• Moon Sang Tae's POV

I noticed it this afternoon upon his arrival.

He looked lost and confused, and has spaced out countless times while I was talking to him.

The caring side of my younger brother was not evident especially when we were having our dinner earlier.

He just stared at his plate and barely touched his food.

No amount of scolding made him finish it.

"D-Do you want S-Sang-tae to be sad when Gang-tae is not eating, oh?"

"Hyung, I'm just tired."

He kept on poking at the kimchi which never reached his mouth.

"G-Gang-tae, I-I know you. When you're t-tired, your appetite gets bigger that you almost f-forget that we're sharing the food."

"I ate so much food at work, my co-worker treated us because it's his birthday." He explained calmly.

I was about to buy it when I heard his intestine make a sound.

I looked at him and he knows that I know that he's lying.

I get it that he doesn't want to be bothered anymore so I stopped probing.

My brother had been acting weird lately but I can't blame him as so many absurd things are equally happening inside our new house.

But if being weird means I get to be with Ko Mun-yeong, then weirdness becomes totally acceptable for me.

We have our own world in our home and I love everything about it. I'm living with my favorite people--my little brother who is my universe, my cute pet Dooly, my precious books, and my favorite author Ko Mun-yeong.

For me, life is is simple. If you love something, go for it. You hate something, be firm in your stand against it. There is nothing else that I need other than that principle.

In the past days, I saw Gang-tae smiling more, and also acting strangely more.

I am just not sure but my senses tell me that he is keeping something from me.

Again, life is simple. If he loves something, I will support it--no matter what.

He has a different kind of glow when he gets home from work. He is jolly in the morning. I sometimes catch him grinning alone--might be a little creepy but all this mean only one thing--my brother is happy.

I was having a hunch that my brother is dating someone. I don't mind him not telling me but of course, I would really really like to know who it is.

You know why? Because I think the girl went too far. To the point of going to our house and going inside our room.

I heard it all.

My sleep was just shallow that night...or morning...or midnight. I was about to turn around and face Gang-tae when I heard a sound.

I can't mistake it for anything else.

I've heard it in one of the TV shows that I accidentally saw while browsing for more cartoons.

It's the sound of a couple kissing.

My brother allowed another person to come into our house just to kiss and produce other sounds which are not really comfortable to hear.

I tried shutting my eyes that night, but that didn't lessen the sound.

Then I heard them trying to be as quiet as possible in walking out of the room.

Whoever that woman is, I'm sure she's head over heels for my brother. Why would you go into someone else's house and room, right?

I was so relieved after hearing the door close. I've been wanting to move but I had to stay in the same position for quite a long time.

Then after a few minutes, Gang-tae came back. Everything just got weird from that moment on.

He woke up looking bothered and sad.

I thought his day at work would get him back to normal but it seemed like it just worsened.

I gave him his space and didn't ask much.

I wanted him to rest early and thankfully, he did.

I looked over my shoulder and saw him moving towards one side of the bed, as if leaving a space for someone.

I knew it. That girl would come back!

Then I heard my brother whisper something...he's missing her. It was so soft that I couldn't catch the name.

This guy won't let me sleep the whole night again.

I stood up and called him.

"G-Gang-tae, who are you talking to, oh?"

He was shocked.

He looked like he saw a ghost.

"Yah! W-Who are you missing, huh Gang-tae? I heard you last night, w-who were you kissing, oh?"

I thought he was going to fall from the bed from embarrassment.

"Hyung, I-I can explain."

"Gang-tae is h-hiding something from Sang-tae now? D-do you have a girlfriend?"

"ANI! Ani, ani! She's not my girlfriend!"

"But y-you just said 'I miss you', oh?"

"Uhm..."

I sat next to my brother and hugged him.

I know he's bothered by many things which he can't explain yet. I know that in time, he will tell it to me.

I want to hit myself for being so nosy.

He hugged me back so tightly.

"Hyung..."

And then like a toddler, he started sobbing.

"I miss her, hyung. I miss her..."

"Shhhh...i-it's okay. J-just let it out..it's going to be okay..."

I feel the back part of my shirt getting wet from my brother's tears.

I hugged him until he fell asleep on me.

I guided his head back slowly to his pillow and covered him with his blanket.

I was about to go back when he started sleeptalking. I listened intently this time.

"Come back please. I miss you, Ko Mun-yeong..."