Choose Me

Chapter 10

It's been three weeks since Dex kissed me, not that anyone is counting, and he's been avoiding me ever since. Thankfully, Elsie hasn't noticed because she's always off doing her own thing, but I do. I can't not see how he spends most of his day at work to avoid spending time here. He never eats here anymore and only comes home to shower and sleep. And then the next day, he just gets up and does the same thing all over again. It's a never-ending cycle of him avoiding me and me hoping to get a glimpse of him every day, but I never do. He's always gone when I'm awake and by the time he gets home, I'm always asleep.

I hate that this is what we have come to but I'm not surprised in the least bit he's avoiding me. He did it once and now he's doing it again, but as much as I hate it, I'm also thankful he's given me some space to think things over. I'm not gonna lie, I miss hanging out with him and just being in his presence, but I think this time apart will do us both good. Maybe it will help us see things more clearly. Or at least I hope it will.

I step into the living room and for the first time in weeks I find Dex home, and just the sight of him takes my breath away. He looks just as good as the day he came back, but something is off. I can see it in the way he's sitting. He's tense and wringing his hands nervously. Something is wrong, but I don't know what. And I'm afraid to find out.

When he finally feels my presence in the room, he breaks the silence with three simple words, "I'm moving out." I feel my breath whoosh out of me the moment he breathes those words into existence. I always knew this day was coming but I was not prepared for it. Not one bit.

I stay put where I stand and feel my heart squeeze at the realization that he's leaving me. I mean us.

It hurts. It hurts more than I want to admit.

I don't say anything and watch him as he just sits there hunched over with his head hanging low, and his right leg bouncing up and down. I want nothing more than to go to him and comfort him but I don't know how. I don't know what could make any of this better. As much as this all hurts, I knew this day was coming. It was only a matter of time before he moved out. I mean he has to. He needs his own space and no brother wants to live with his sister forever, much less her best friend. I just hate that the day finally arrived. It feels too soon.

"When?" I ask, finally speaking up, and hate that my voice sounds shaky.

"Today." He stands up and walks over to me. "My new roommate gave me the key to his apartment so I could start moving my things into my new place and today I'm officially moving in. It's not permanent but at least it will get me out of yours and Elsie's hair."

"You could have waited until you found something permanent," I tell him and he shakes his head.

"You and I both know I can't stay here any longer. It's torture to see you every day and not be able to hold you, kiss you, and touch you when I want," he tells me and I feel my heart rate speed up at his words. He may seem unaffected by those words, but to me those words mean everything. They make me feel things I shouldn't feel. Forbidden things.

"This is for the best." I feel a tear drip down my cheek and quickly look away. He curls his finger under my chin and makes me look at him. "I never wanted to hurt you. I just wanted you to know how I felt about you," he says and I know he means it.

He put his feelings on the table and asked for one night but I don't know if I can give him just one night. I'm scared I'll want more. What I'm starting to feel for Dex is much bigger than me and I don't know how to stop it. I need to put an end to it before I can't control it anymore and I ruin things between Dex, Elsie, and I. It's better that we all just stay friends like it was always meant to be.