Choose Me

Chapter 34

Dex leaves his room to prepare himself a cup of coffee in the kitchen behind me while I watch 'My Holo Love' on Netflix. He doesn't talk to me and honestly, I could not be more relieved. I've been dreading him bringing up what happened between us at the cabin ever since he moved in but thankfully, he hasn't even broached the subject and I hope he never does. As much as I enjoyed what happened between us, I know it was wrong and that it can't happen again. And if I have to keep my distance to avoid anything happening again, then so be it. I'll keep my distance and keep him at an arm's length always. Or at least that's what I tell myself every day when I see him and am reminded of what's not mine.

And will never be yours, that annoying voice in my head pipes up, putting in their two cents.

Thankfully, Dex has been nothing but good since he moved in and talks to me as just a friend on the rare occasions we eat together or hang out, which makes things slightly easier, but at the same time, his mouth says one thing but his eyes are always saying another, looking me up and down like he wants to eat me up. I pretend I don't notice every time I catch him devouring me with his eyes. But I do, every single time.

I'm not oblivious to the way he looks at me and the longer we live in closed quarters, the more the tension between us grows. But I do my best to ignore it and just take a lot of cold showers and masturbate a lot when he's not home. I'd like to say I don't think of him every time I touch myself, but I do. I think of him and his warm mouth that eats me out like I'm the most delicious forbidden fruit and his big cock that fills me so good and always leaves me sated.

Deep down I know it's wrong to think about him when I touch myself but I can't help myself. He's always the first person I think of when I close my eyes to touch myself and even when I go to sleep, I can't help but wonder what he's doing in his room. Is he thinking of me? Is he jacking off to thoughts of me? What did he do to my panties? Does he have them hidden in a drawer where only he can find them? I want to know it all but no matter how tempted I am to find out all these things, I don't. I keep my distance and keep to myself, making sure to draw a line between us that we blurred long ago. But I'm determined to put that line back in its place and keep it between us because that's what he wants. He wants to be with Bianca and I want to respect that as much as it hurts.

I know it won't be easy to stay away from him after having him in every way imaginable but I'm going to try even if it kills me. It's the least he deserves after everything he's done for me, and I'm not talking all the delicious things he's done to me. No. I'm talking about all the times he was there for me and comforted me when I needed it most. And that time he took care of me when I was on my period. I'll never forget that. Dex is an amazing guy and Bianca is really lucky to have him.

Most days I wish I was her but not today because today he's giving me the cold shoulder and I kind of hate him for it. Who am I kidding? I like him a lot. Too much. It's not even fair.

I feel a weight plop down on the couch and turn to the side to see that Dex has joined me and is sitting on the far end of the couch, but he doesn't say anything as he sips from his mug of coffee. I consider talking to him but decide against it, realizing this is for the best and face forward to watch the TV when I feel my phone vibrate at my side.

I grab it and see that it's a new text from Ken and consider ignoring it, but right now I need the distraction and read his text.

Ken: I miss you.

Me: Want to come over and hang out?

I text back, trying to avoid saying words I don't feel.

Ken: I was hoping you would ask.

He texts back making me smile.

Ken: Want me to bring anything?

Me: Just yourself is enough.