Also when y/n gets back to the dorm, keep this picture of Rue Bennett in the show Euphoria in mind.
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Your eyes flutter open, taking in your surroundings as the crisp blue blanket clings onto your naked body. Your mind travels thinking back to last night remembering everything that had happened between you and Hotch. You look around his bedroom noticing his disappearance. If you were at your dorm instead, you would have been worried that he left but considering this was his house that was highly unlikely.
You sit up looking to see your clothes laid around the room in a mess. You try to stand up using the nightstand next to the bed to help you, feeling the ache between your legs and your legs feeling like jelly. You put on your clothes from yesterday, your hair still a mess but deciding it would be best to wait until you were in your own room to shower.
You walk out the room, to hear two voices coming from the living room. One of them was Hotch and the other one was a woman.
"Aaron, just give me another chance. I messed up but think about what your doing?" The woman says her voice sounding very light and feminine.
"No. you cheated on me Hayley, In our home, In our bed." You hear Hotch's voice stern as ever, emphasizing the last part his anger prominent.
You hid behind a wall, making sure they weren't able to hear you but you were able to hear them.
"Aaron, think about Jack and how good it would be for-" Hayley says before stopping abruptly.
You hear her walking across the floor, her heels clicking against it.
"What is this? Is someone here? A woman?" She questions him, her voice getting louder with each word her words filling with anger as well.
You think to yourself for a moment, before your eyes widening realizing she had just found your purse and cell phone. You must have thrown it on one of the sofas he had. 'Well shit nice one y/n you say to yourself ' before diverting your attention back to the conversation.
"Hayley.." Was the only thing Hotch replied with before going silent for a moment. "It's not a big deal, you moved on and so did I." He tells her as you as a slight smile creeps up on your face feeling a sort of unexpected happiness.
"No I made a mistake because you were always busy and we were arguing all the time. She's probably some slut who fucks everyone huh." She says letting out a small proud laugh like she knew who you were.
"Hayley that's enough." He tells her sharply raising his voice in annoyance.
"Tell me Aaron, Is she something serious or some new plaything?"
What the hell? How was that any of her business, you think to yourself beyond annoyed at this point.
"Hayley, it's not any of your concern. She's no one important, just someone to comfort me because you left me. So stop acting so childish." He says in a nonchalant tone.
You don't know why, but what he had said hurt. For some reason, it made you feel filthy, something you had only felt back when you were in high school. You never had healthy habits, using sex to not think about your horrible father or mother who never cared about you.
Shortly after, you shake your head losing your train of thought at the sound of a door slamming shut followed by a sigh from Hotch.
You try to settle your wobbly legs from the night before proceeding to walk to the living room and grabbing your bag, checking your phone for a minute.
"Hey, did you hear any of that?" Hotch says, hoping you hadn't.
You turn around shaking your head slightly before tucking your phone inside the purse.
He furrows his eyebrows in confusion at your sudden silence, letting a short silence fall above the both of you. You feel his eyes look you up and down, noticing your messy hair and the clothes you were wearing from yesterday night. "Well, do you want me to drive you back?" He says reaching for his car keys. He throws a glance out the window probably hoping his ex wife was gone.
...
The drive back to the dorms felt longer then how it was. It was silent as you kept repeating his words to Hayley trying your best not to overthink it. He tried to ask you what was wrong and why you were so silent but you that was after you stepped out of the car, slamming the door quickly walking up to the dorms.
As soon as you walk into your room is when your hit with this wave of emotion. You take some pajamas stepping into the hot shower. You saw every part of your body that he had marked. You cry letting out waves of non stop tears, as you try to harshly scrub the marks off your skin making the area around them a pink tone instead.
All you can do is cry letting it take over you as the aroma of vanilla was prominent. At one point you just sat in the tub your legs under your chin letting time pass as you cried, the hot steamy water running over your face suffocating your breathes.
Eventually when you got out, all you could do is lay on your bed staring at your computer screen binge-watching The Walking Dead. Your mind became numb repeating Hotch's words.
"She's no one important.."
"Just someone to comfort me.."
Was that all you were ever going to be to people? An object. Some toy? Maybe it would be better if you didn't feel anymore, or even existed? I mean, you wouldn't have to be treated as an object anymore.
Your deep in your thoughts when you hear a voice calling your name.
"Y/n? y/n? Are you okay?" Emily asks you repeatedly standing in your line of vision. you lift yourself slightly wiping your eyes, not knowing that small droplets were present.
"Sorry. I didn't hear you." You reply looking at your best friend, a worried and confused expression appearing on her face.
"Talk to me hun, What happened?" She asks, going over to sit next to you on your bed. She puts her arm around your body, holding you as you let your head fall comfortably onto her shoulder.
"I can't do it Em. I got attached and now I look so fucking stupid because I wasn't important. I don't even know why I feel so hurt. I thought this was maybe different. The because he was older he would probably want something with me.. But I was wrong. Im the one hurt." It was all you can say to her, your voice faltering and small.
"Y/n as much as you don't want to admit it, I know you know why you feel like this." The next thing she said was something you was terrified to hear. Something you was afraid of.
"You love him y/n.."
That's when you realized why you was so hurt. Why you trusted him so much.Why his actions had such an affect on you.
You had fucking fell in love with Aaron Hotchner..
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Well that's a cliffhanger. hehe how yall feel now? I probably won't update tomorrow so expect a chapter within 2-3 days.
