The Hyenas {Dreamnotfound AU}

15. All We Could

TW ~ Reader discretion is advised, this chapter contains mentions of human remains and psychological distress ~ TW

Clay's POV

George has not left the bed since we've come back from Fundy and Eret. He is curled up to himself, facing the wall, and not making a sound. He doesn't cry, he doesn't talk, sometimes I wonder if he's even breathing. He only gets up to go to the toilet, but he never meets eyes with me.

The day Eret died, a piece of George's soul went with him. A piece of hope that had lingered in his heart, that kept him going, even when he didn't want to. The idea that his best friend could still be walking the earth somewhere, and that there was a possibility he'd find him again, kept George in determination.

But that hope was shattered into a million pieces.

It's been four days since it happened. Eret passed away while George was holding him, and I know the image of his glassy eyes staring at the ceiling will never erase itself from his mind. He sat there holding him for another two hours, talking to him, telling him stories about everything that had happened here, as if he was still listening. Fundy and I didn't say anything, we just sat on the opposite side of Eret's body. After those two hours, George lifted Eret's head out of his lap, but continued talking to him. He had to take baby steps in saying goodbye. He needed time, he needed to do it on his own terms, and I could only respect that. After another hour of George reminiscing, he stopped talking and just looked down at Eret for a while. It took some time for him to process that he was looking at the lifeless body of his best friend. When that idea finally settled in his head, he closed Eret's eyes for him and cried silently to himself. He didn't burst out in tears as I had expected him to, he just sniffled every once in a while. I'm sure he was breaking down on the inside though, but he couldn't show it.

George refused to leave until we gave Eret a funeral. Fundy had suggested he'd move to a different bunker and let Eret lie there, but that made George the angriest I had ever seen him. He found the idea ridiculous and disrespectful. Any wild animal could break through the door and eat him up, and that was a thought George could not stand. Eret deserved a proper goodbye, and an actual final resting place. So while George sat with him, fixing his hair and clothes and cleaning out the wound one last time, Fundy and I dug a hole outside.

It took a while for George to be okay with the sight of his best friend in the ground, but he started accepting that this was the only option. Eret had carried a pair of sunglasses with him, which George clutched tightly to himself as Fundy and I started filling up the hole again. Once we were done, we stood around the grave for a little while. I didn't quite know what to do to comfort George, but I guessed he didn't know either. He had never suffered such a loss before, this was as new to him as it was to me. At one point, he shuffled over to me and took my hand in his. He didn't want a hug, he didn't want me to say anything, he just wanted me to hold his hand, so I did. It was all I could do for him.

With the sunglasses in one hand, and my hand in the other, George told me he wanted to go home. He had never called the bunker 'home' before. We said our goodbyes to Fundy, who decided he would find shelter somewhere else. He had a hard time as well. Not as much as George, but Eret was still his friend too, even though he had only known him for a short time. The thought of staying in that bunker felt wrong to him, and made him uncomfortable, knowing what had happened there. We agreed that we'd try and keep in touch, having the trapdoor of the bunker set as a meeting point.

George and I then walked off to home. Our stroll was silent, George kept looking straight ahead of him with tired eyes, and I occasionally squeezed his hand, but I got no response. When we entered the bunker, George laid down on the bed, facing the wall, and that's the position I have observed him in for the last four days. I never know when he's awake or when he's asleep. I offered him food, but most of the times he didn't answer. Only once or twice did he take my offer, ate a little bit, and then returned to bed without speaking a word. At night I still hold him, adjusting my position to his, but he never moves. He just lays there, and I lay with him.